Kamishirasawa Keine's Youkai Ecology Class
by Sonanoka21093
Summary: A spinoff from Dreams of Paradise. Unlike other spinoffs, this doesn't particularly require one to have prior knowledge of the rest, although it may help. Live, from Keine's classroom, via gap, we bring you numerous lessons on the ecology of many sorts of Youkai!
1. Ooze 101: Lesson 1 Part 1

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N: And thus I bring you to the first of many classes on the numerous facets of Youkai Ecology! This will not be _just _ecology, and it will include any valid informantion, or any useful weaknesses, much to the dismay of some of the Youkai. Ohh, and this arc was requested by WillieG.R, so thank him if you've been curious about this.

Night, Keine's school for both Humans and Youkai:

I hope the day class doesn't mind that they too have to come at night for this lesson. I can't exactly have her come by in the day, as that'd be a bit cruel.

I was sitting at my desk, in the room full of numerorous smaller desks, 51 in total if you include mine, when the Youkai I had been waiting for arived.

"You know the humans'll think you've gone insane if you have me in a room full of their tasty little younglings, and yet you insist upon it! I mean, _I _know that you can trust me, but will the humans not lose trust in you, if only a bit?" Just as I had requested, Rumia had come, along with the once dead Mima. ...I need to ask her how she's alive some time, but now's not the time.

"Why, Rumia, Mima, it's good to see you two! You look so... healthy and not dead, Mima!" I gave a pleasing smile, and shook each of their hands firmly.

"Ahh, blame Yukari..." Ahh, yes. It's always best to blame Yukari first, and find out the actual culprit later. ...Sadly, more often than not, Yukari _is_ the culprit.

"Indeed! So, are you ready to help me, as per our agreement?" I smiled, and looked to the little Darkness Youkai, or, if you actually know what she _is,_ Black Pudding.

"Quite! I'm itching to earn my payment!" Rumia let loose one of her unnerving grings, which, while quite happy looking, also had luled a number of humans into a false sense of security. A shark toothed loli is considered cute by many outsiders, so they simply try to hug her. ...That's about as far as I need to go into detail on their fates, as she's a confirmed man-eater.

I had promised her a meal of meat, which is about as valuable as gold to her, so she was quite happy to lend me a hand. Pork, to be exact, as it's a bitsimilar to human flesh they say.

We sat about, waiting for the hour to pass.

It took all of Rumia's willpower to not start making moves upon the one she loves, Mima. Ohh, yes, it's quite obvious to me that she's interested in the girl. However, I'm not about to condone such things around my students, and Rumia knows it.

The hour finally came to a close, and the students, half of which were half asleep, had made their way into the classroom. None dare to skip class, as they know that I just might accidentally cave in their skull with my own, instead of just giving them a friendly headbutt!

After the initial shock of seeing such a high threat Youkai in the classroom, just looking bored, all of those who had been half asleep had been awoken by sheer shock. It seems I won't have to hit any children tonight! Goody!

"T-teacher...? Wh-why is _she_ here...?" One of the braver students asked, obviously quite curious as to why the scary little Youkai was even allowed into the village.

"Well, she's the only one of her species that I know, and I've things to teach you all about her kind." I gave the child a reassuring smile, which seemed to calm him down considerably.

"Is that so~?" From Rumia's voice alone, the hearts of the children in the room all lept into their throats. They had, at one point or another, heard her ask that very same question from the dark corners of the village. It's quite hard to keep one such as her out, but she's only allowed to attack those that have tried to innitiate a spell card duel, and lost it, so the children are... a semblance of safe.

"That is so~!" Mima, the rather unique shrine maiden that she is, had all of the humans and younger Youkai raising a brow at her.

I began to take role call, while looking for my egg timer. By the time I had finished said call, I had located the battered metal egg timer that had only flecks of white paint on the surface of it's steel body. It was once quite the proud little white egg timer, but I had gotten it ..._well _used from the odds and ends store.

"Now, let us begin. First off, Rumia, I'd like you to tell the class of a bit about yourself, in an as in-depth way as you can muster." Rumia made her way from the spot she was sitting at, and stood before the class, ready to teach what she could.

Rumia's PoV:

"Hmm... Well, I suppose I'll start from the beginning! I was once a pet amoeba, as some Youkai keep rather unique pets; I lived a good life, reached my 100th year, and ended up becoming a Youkai. It's common practice among Youkai to keep a pet only untill it becomes a Youkai, so I was quietly abandoned to learn my way in the world. Ohh, stop the sad looks of sympathy, as it is un-needed." I began to think for a moment, before continuing. "I seem to be the only Black Pudding in all of Gensokyo, if not the entire world. Yes, _those_ looks of sympathy I _can _understand, as it's been a lonely time I've had every since that shrine maiden died." I point my thumb to my side, indicating that I'm reffering to Mima." And, yes, she _is_ currently alive. I'm not so bad to be friends with, even for you humans. ...So long as said human is either interesting enough to not eat, or is from the village, as I'm not supposed to eat you light meals, or the far larger meals that produce you." Every single human cringed at this, including Keine. However, Mima did not, as she's quite similar to myself in some ways; she has a taste for human flesh, and freely admits it to Youkai.

One of the humans raised their hand, and I pointed to them, indicating that they could speak. "Can ah be youw fwiend?" One of the smaller humans seemed to not mind my... tendancies. Interesting.

"N-now Pedro, it's best to say such things with caution." Keine didn't want her little student to be eaten, even if I say I keep to the treaty quite well. Long ago, a treaty was made between man and Youkai, so as to keep the Human Village from becoming a feeding ground. The human village was a place that people from all over the world could live, but was only for those that had been forgotten, and ended up in Gensokyo. Mostly orphaned children found their way here, with the occasional adult being a rarity, and were either eaten, or found their way to the village. Yukari also, from time to time, gathers a number of criminals that were never proven to have commited their crimes, a black collar put around their neck, and sends them out into the wilds. _Those _humans would be for eating, and are only marked so that the human village rejects them.

It's one of Yukari's numerous hobbies.

I made my way over to the little boy, squated, and offered him my hand, which he gladly accepted.

I gave him a warm smile, before swiftly pulled him up into a bridal carry, and walked back to the front of the classroom.

Keine gave me a look that said not to try anything funny, or else she would pulverize one of my cores with one of her rock shattering head butts. While the odds are that she can't destroy the thing, it would still probably crack, which would bring me horrible pain.

"Now, as Keine mentioned, we Youkai can be a rather untrustworthy lot! however, I for one would rather leave a better impression in you little ones, as all I've done to the village for the whole ...century? since the treaty was established, was nothing more than natural selection. Any weakling that thinks they can take me out deserves their fate." The humans, and Youkai, all looked at me with wonder in their eye. They seemed to find me a fair bit less scary, and a bit cool, instead.

"Ahem... Rumia, get on with the lesson. The class would probably not want to stay late, right?" I looked to the class, who were all shaking their heads. If it mean hearing more about this Youkai, they wouldn't mind missing out on a bit of sleep. Keine rose a brow at this, not expecting me to have made them like me so easily.

"Now then... Where was I...? Ahh, yes..." I cleared my throat, before continuing my part of the lecture. "I'm of the Ooze family of Youkai, and, to be exact, I'm a Black pudding; I've never met another of my exact kind, thanks to being a creature that really isn't meant to live to see 100, so I've lost hope of finding another of my kind." I began to disable the digestive qualities of my inner body, and turn my hardened outer layer back into the ooze that's normal of my species. At first, it had been rather hard to maintain the shape of a human, but eventually I ended up doing it effortlessly.

My limbs began to melt away, and my clothes float in the fluids of my body, as I was returning to my natural form. Slowly the small child ended up in my soft, warm, meat scented body. The small child was looking about, slightly worried that I was about to eat him. "Don't worry, it'll only tingle inside of me, and you'll still be able to breathe; I've disabled the acidic properties of my body, so as to not harm you in my little demonstration." I had no mouth to speak with at this point, but I could still speak just fine. I'm not too sure on how I do that, honestly; I wonder if Keine knows?

"You okay in there, little guy?" Mima showed just a bit of concern for the young human, as she had never seen me do this before, so it was a unique sight to see me _not _eating what's within me.

The little human began to giggle, as I was pretty much tickling his entire body save for a few strategic areas. I may be a pervert, but I'm not going to molest a child.

It wasn't long before he gave a thumbs up, even if he could hardly move.

As quickly as he had been enveloped in my body, I shot him up into the air, retracting all traces of myself from him, save for the lingering smell of meat. After his short flight, he landed atop of my jiggling jelly body.

The students all clapped at the fun that little Pedro was having, while Keine sighed with relief that he was quite fine.

A/N2: And thus ends part 1 of Ooze 101!


	2. Ooze 101: Lesson 1 Part 2

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N: Yes, I may be focusing on this a bit, but I'm in no way leaving other stories to rot. ...Atleast, not for long! I've always found things such as learning about the how things work to be rather interesting, and that goes doubly so for mythical creatures and the like! Anywho, on with the show!

Midnight, Keine's class, Rumia's PoV:

I began to divide in half, careful to keep both cores in only one side, as now would be just about to worst time to give birth.

"When an Ooze seperates, yet keeps both of its Cores, it's called a Slave Ooze. When an Ooze does the exact same, but gives one of her Cores to the Slave, it's basically the closest thing my kind does to giving birth." Keine rose a brow to the terms I used, as they weren't the terms she knew of, but let me continue.

"I can divide into a nearly infinite number of Slaves, but can only give birth to one true Ooze at a time." I began to demonstrate this, by splitting my Slave into the same number as there are students with a pair of spares, so as to give Keine and Mima one as well. It took a fair bit of concentration to be in around fourty bodies at once, so they were all moving rather slugishly towards their targets. The first to arive at their destinations were the pair bound for my friends, which slid their way up the respective leg of each, before being grabbed by the respective woman.

"An Ooze can scale just about any surface, due to the way our body is. Watch the Slave at your feet as it makes its way to the surface of your desk." One by one, the little Oozes began to crawl up the wooden legs of the desks by encircling the leg, and slowly rolling their way up it.

The children watched in amazement as the tiny blobs of meat scented black goop made it to the top of their desks one by one. It would have been a far faster process, but it was mentally draining to climb about fourty surfaces at once.

"You may do with those Slaves as you please for the time being. I'm sure you're all quite curious as to what I feel li- Gyahahaa...!" I suddenly felt Mima tickle the surface of the blob that was resting atop her palm, causing me to interrupt myself with laughter.

"S-stop it...! M-mima, please! Gwahaha...!" My main body twitched and twisted about, trying to cope with the tickling. One by one, the smaller blobs began to twitch about as well, looking as though they were dancing.

Keine calmly grabbed Mima's hand, so as to allow the lesson to continue.

"Aww..." Mima pouted, and stopped tickling me. I let out a happy sigh, as being tickled always left me in a good mood.

"And that, was an example of just how sensetive an Ooze's sense of touch i-" I was interrupted by one of the children petting the blob before her. "Mmm..." I slowly began to emmit a sputtering wet purring sound.

Noticing this, the child stopped petting me, as she had been thoroughly disturbed by the noise I emited.

"I-I'm quite-" My main body twitched hard, as one of the children had decided to find out what it felt like to stick a finger in the squishy slime on their desk. "N-noo..! Take i-it out, kid...!" The child in question blushed beet red, before removing his finger from his portion of me.

I paused to catch my ...well, I don't really have to breathe, as I simply absorbe the air through my skin and pull it towards my core.

"O-okay... Uhh... I suppose you all can throw my Slaves at me now, and I'll reform." One by one, I found myself being pelted with... myself, which caused my body to slowly get pushed back, and my body to ripple like stones cast into water.

"Now, for the last of my portion of the lesson-" Many sounds of dissapointment were heard at this. "I will show you my digestive process. Keine, you have that pig you spoke of, correct?" I began to make my way to the door, leaving behind a shiny trail which slowly made its way after me. It's not good to leave a layer of your body behind, so I have to constantly will it back into myself.

"Ahh, yes, it's in my cold box. You wish to use it as a demonstration, I take it?" Keine hadn't expected me to be such a good teached; she may actually keep me around for the next portion of the class, if only to keep the children interested in the subject of Oozes.

"Yeah, go and get it so that I can demonstrate the act of eating prey. It'll have to be outside, or else I'll end up eating your floor, too." Keine cringed at my claim, as she really hadn't expected me to be _that _acidic.

"R-right. Class, follow the blob of acid outside, and I'll be back in a moment." Keine rushed off to her kitchen, rummaging through the large cold box that she kept all of her food in. It took her a moment, but she finally located the pig. She bumped the door of the cold box shut with her rear, and rushed outside, a frozen pig slung over her shoulder.

I had already begun to re-enable the acidic properties of my body, and the dirt beneath me had begun to burn, and I was ever so gradually sinking into the ground.

"Hurry, or else It'll be a pain in the ass to get out of the pit I'll end up making..." Keine was quite surprised that I was eating through the dirt as quickly as I was. She'd never actually seen an Ooze in person, so she only had texts to go by. However, there was no information on Black Puddings, as they are just _that _rare, so she could only assume that we were about the same as other types of Oozes. However, there was a reason that we were reffered to as the most dangerous form of Ooze; a fully grown Black Pudding can end up large enough to weigh 5 metric tons, which is a multiple of the size of any other Ooze. I'm actually quite young for my species, only weighing in at about 100 kilos, however, I hadn't a clue about how large I might end up in the future. Furthuremore, we are the most acidic kind of Ooze, and can eat just about anything rather quickly.

"Well? Any time now... I've already eaten a metre into the ground!" Keine jumped, as she had forgotten about her role that was needed.

Keine hefted the mid sized pig off of her shoulder, and put it beside the pit, before slowly pushed it towards the edge with her foot. She stopped pushing, and backed away, when the pig was at the exact edge of the pit.

"Now, gather around, or you may miss this display of just how quickly my acids can disolve things." Keine rose a brow at my claim. It couldn't be _that _fast, right?

Once everyone could see, I reached up, and pulled the pig into the pit. Instantly, the skin of the pig began to bubble, and slowly erode away down to the meat. The meat was a slightly slower process, but still quite fast, all things considered.

After only a minute, my body was quite happy, and nothing of the pig remained, save for the bones. I couldn't help but gurgle with joy, as it had been such a long time since I had time to revert to my natural form and eat a creature whole like this.

Keine was quite speachless at just how quickly I had eaten the pig, so I got a small meal of surprise to boot.

"Ohh? Did I surprise you with how strong my acids are, Keine~?" All of the children turned to the teacher, surprised at how their teacher was surprised, thus giving their teacher a bit of a meal, too. Neither of us found that emotion particularly tasty, but it was still a meal.

"N-no! No, you didn't surprise me!" I already knew that was a lie, for obvious reason.

"If you say so... Anyways, as it's getting early, I suppose I should get going." I began to disable my acids, and return to my humanoid form.

First, my insides hardened a bit, forming a black skeleton, which had one core in the skull, the other in the center of the rib cage. Next, I began to concentrate my body, and form it into muscles and organs and such, before using the last of my body mass to create pitch black skin.

It would take awhile to return the color to my... well, everything, but That's fine.

I hopped from the pit that was now just outside of the school, not really caring if I was seen in a state of undress.

"W-where are your clothes? !" Keine we blushing furiously at my state of undress, while trying to keep the children from seeing me.

"Ehh? Ohh, they're in the class room." All of the boys looked upon my form, which Keine wasn't hiding all that much, and couldn't help but bend over to hide a certain something.

"Ahh, seems the boys like what they see!" Mima chuckled to herself, and pointed out something made every single child among them blush beet red. The boys, for obvious reason; the girls, because of what was going on with the boys.

"C-class dismissed!" Keine shouted, shooing the embarassed children away, and left me to get dressed. She probably woke up some of those who were asleep at this time, but she was too embarrassed at the time to care.

Jeez, it's only a bit of skin, and it's not like I even have any color to myself as of yet! All that can be seen are what look like a pair of modest breasts, and the surface of my womanly oriface.

I quickly found my clothes, and got dressed. "So, want me back for the rest of this Ooze class?" Keine jumped from behind the door, as she was waiting outside of the room for me to finish dressing.

Keine at first growled in annoyance, before sighing in defeat. "...Yes." It's good that she was being honest!

We went on to discuss the next lesson, and when it would be, while Mima waited around, quite obviously bored out of her mind. I'd have to do my very best to make up for the current lack of fun at some point! ...Then again, I suppose that would depend upon on if we were lucky enough to not be interrupted for once.


	3. Ooze 101: Lesson 2 Part 1

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N: And now we bring you live, to the second lesson on Oozes! I hope this will be informative, and Rumia will be answering a few questions that she forgot about!

R/N: Is that so~?

A/N: A-ahh... Okay, fine, _I _forgot them. Now stop licking you lips!

R/N: But you smell so tasty~!

A/N: I-is that so~?

Night, Keine's School, Keine's PoV:

I finally finished grading the last of the papers from yesterdays test.

I wiped sweat from my brow, tugged at the edge of my neckline, and fanned myself just a bit. it sure is summer, huh?

My thoughts of annoyance at the heat were interrupted by an oddly cool air.

"We figured that the heat would be a bit much, so we brought Cirno along~!" Rumia had a wide grin, and her was skin covered in a few ice crystals here and there, as she had spent a tad too long near the Fairy, and had begun to crystalize.

"I never thought I'd end up back here again..." Cirno sighed, as she was only here at Rumia's request. Why did she have to be so popular during the summer...?

"My, long time no see, Cirno! It's been... what, around a year or two since you graduated?" I was always happy to see Cirno, for more reasons than her being the most wonderous of people to have around during the summer.

Cirno was a success story that I helped make possible. She decided one day that she wasn't smart enough, and was tired of being made fun of for it, so she asked me for aid. I didn't take her seriously at first, as I'd never had a Fairy ask to be taught, and treated her like an idiot. Well, she sure did prove _me_ wrong! She already knew how to read and write a bit, and wasn't horrible at the other subjects, so she breezed through all of the work I gave her, as I was giving her kindergarten classes at first. One day after class she asked to talk to me in private; I was prepared for her to want to quit, honestly, but she asked if it was okay to skip a grade, as she knew everything she had been taught thus far. I accepted, on the condition that she get a good grade on the next days test, and she did just that. From there, she went on to first grade, and once more found it easy, and once more requested to be bumped up a grade, where I once more gave her a test, and she once more passed it. This continued untill she had reached fifth grade, which happens to be the highest education I give. She didn't ask for any higher upgrade at that point, and struggled a bit due to how much harder the subjects were, and how she had actually studied her butt off to pass the fourth grade test, but she put in a great deal of effort, and passed with flying colors. Where once was an idiot, was now what would probably be the smartest Fairy. I couldn't help but shed a few tears of joy along with her on the day her quest for self improvment had ended, and she left my school. Since then, I only rarely have seen her, thanks to the villages generally intolerant views. In the eyes of these humans, if a Youkai has ever done any wrong, they are a creature to be destroyed. It's been a tough fight to get that poison out of the system, and spare their children from becoming ignorant bigots like their parents, but I feel as though I've done a rather good job on this generation. It seems that allowing Youkai into my school has only helped break down that wall, and the parents arn't about to try and earn a headbutt from me by retracting their child from it's required schooling.

"Yeah, yeah... It's good to see you too, Teach." Cirno chuckled a bit at my warm greeting. She wasn't sure if I was happy because of her, or because of her _aura._

"Ohh, and Rumia?" Rumia turned her head away from the rear of the silent Mima. "You never _did_ talk about the thing for which you are best known! You never spoke of your Darkness!" I crossed my arms, and frowned.

"Ahh! That is so~! I suppose I'll have to do so, this time, huh?" Rumia laughed awkwardly, while she scratched at the back of her head. She really _did _forget that, huh?

They were a bit late, so it wasn't much longer untill the children would arive.

As if on queue, the first of many children arived, grinning happily as soon as she saw Cirno. Every single class she was in had found her to be rather fun to have around, even if they had to dress warmly any time it wasn't summer. With each grade she skipped, she had left behind children that would call her a friend, all of which had been saddened when she left them behind.

"Cirnooo!" The little child gave the Fairy a quick, hard hug, before making a retreat due to just how cold Cirno was to the touch. However, it _did _make her forget about just how hot she once was.

"Hehe, hey kid." Cirno hadn't the time to remember the names of any of the children in the lower grades, as she had only spent around a month in each of the lower grades.

"Looks like it's about time to start class. Tabitha, that means you should go to your seat." I gave the small child a warm smile, and shooed her to her desk.

Once the rest of the students had arived, I let Rumia once more be the teacher for a bit, so as to clear up the last few things left for her to teach.

Rumia's PoV:

"Hello once again, children! I'll be covering the few things I realised I had forgotten, so let's start with my so called 'power over darkness', shall we?" I began to soften my skin just a tad so as to emit a bit of smog.

"I've a process that I don't particularly understand that allows me to produce a thick sort smoke that hasn't the weakness of my body, due to it being quite resistant to radiation. It oddly isn't subject to the push of the wind, and stays in a bubble around me; if I so wish it, I can even spread out this bubble, thus allowing me to cover larger areas in a thinner sort of smog." I instantly dumped all of my smog out, and filled the bubble fully.

"This would be what I call absolute darkness, as one cannot see a thing through it, correct?" All of the children nodded.

"...As I can't see you, I'll asume you all agreed. Also, yes, it's quite true that I can't see anything through it either. Now..." I spread out the bubble to its maximum length, causing the entire area around the school to darken just a bit. "This would be 10% darkness, and it covers a far larger area." I retracted my fog of darkness once more, untill it was a more comfortable level. "And this would be 95%, which I can just barely see through." One of the children rose a hand, and I spread out my darkness just enough for them to see me too, before pointing to her.

"If you can see through 95%, why use the fully concentrated form?" Ahh, a good question!

"Because I burn in the sun, my dear. I've just about no resistance to radiation, and the sun is a ball of the stuff... If I'm in direct contact with the suns harmful rays, my surface begins to fry, and my insides begin to boil. Quite the painful experience to be fully exposed to the sun, really." The children began to cringe at the idea of what that would feel like. "When at 95% it does it to a lesser extent, about 5% of what I'd normally recieve to be exact, and I can still see! However, at 100% I've no reason to fear the sun, as it can't reach me at all." The children couldn't really understand that fear of the sun that several species of Youkai possess, so they remained silent.

"As for the final thing I'm capable of... Well, I'm quite venomous." Keine rose a brow at this, as she didn't know that. "On command, I can secrete an odd sort of toxin. This toxin is quite fast acting, and causes some unique effects, such as the reversal of pleasure and pain." The children that knew what pleasure was all began to blush, along with Keine, and even Cirno. Mima took it in stride, and simply found such a thing interesting, and that it would have applications in the fields of torture by way of sex, and in the field of slowly melting your prey and not having them struggle. Quite the pleasant way to die, if it is a perfect switch of the senses.

"...So, Rumia, that would mean that when you melt your prey they..." I gave a nod to Keine's question, as my prey usually enjoy themselfs greatly in the minute they have untill I've reached their brain, and they die. Humans take about five minutes to melt down to the bones, even if they die in one.

Just thinking about it made my stomach grumble a bit, which caused a cold chill down the spines of the humans in the class.

"Now, who wants to be a volunteer for a demonstration?" Unsurprisingly, not a single hand went up. "...Stop inching towards me, Keine. I'm not going to eat anybody, as I've already stated! 'Twas but a joke." Keine sighed in relief, as the idea of fighting me just became a whole lot less appealing to her.


	4. Ooze 101: Lesson 2 Part 2

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N: This'll probably be the last of these for a bit, and I'll be getting back to my main fic! I honestly wasn't expecting it to take this long just to reach the rest of the Ooze family! Anywho, if anyone has any questions on a race, feel free to ask! The answer won't be as in depth untill it's made into a class, but it'll be informative regardless of that! Plus, those little mini lessons are pretty much made up on the spot for the most part, simply to make sense of said race. I really don't plan anything out save for long term goals, incidents, and holidays. I mean, heck, at first I planned on Rumia being an Amoeba Youkai! But then, something clicked when I was thinking about Oozes... Black Pudding is very... black, and a great deal like a giant Amoeba, so why not combine them into an interesting Youkai? Aaanywho, On with the show!

Midnight, Keine's Class:

"Good work Rumia. Now that that's out of the way, I'll take over, so as to teach the rest of the Ooze family." The children all groaned, as I can be a bit long winded.

"We will begin with the curiosity of the Ooze family, the Rock Jelly; the Rock Jelly is, like most Oozes, formed depending on its habitat. They typically come to be in rocky locations, such as mountains, quarries, and at times even beaches. Now, I'm sure some of you are wondering what a beach is, but we haven't the time to be side tracked, and it's unimportant to this lesson. They are actually one of the more peacefull of the Ooze family, as they mostly eat rocks, thus giving them a rock filled appearance, as most Oozes take awhile to digest things. However, like most Oozes, they are still highly dangerous, if only due to the sheer damage they would cause from their weight. Eating rocks gives them a very hard outer layer that they may liquify as they please. Their weight would be the highest of all the oozes, as they typically weigh in at about ten metric tons, and can look a bit like a mud slide, due to their pasty brown appearance."

"Next in line is a rather... unique form of Ooze; the Royal Jelly would be one of the largest kinds of Oozes, but typically weigh in at only one or two metric tons, as they don't particularly eat very much. They, oddly enough, tend to form a kingdom of lesser Oozes, and can be considered one of the strongest of their kind. The thing that makes them unique however, would be the crown-like core that floats atop their body, and their ability to control any core-less Ooze, such as the Slaves that Rumia can produce. However, they are few in number, as they cannot reproduce normally. When a Royal jelly dies, its Core regenerates, and the first Ooze to make contact with it becomes a Royal Jelly."

"The last unique form of Ooze would be the Blade Jelly, which has a rather unique form of acid, as it somehow is only able to digest metals. However, as they eat nothing _but_ metal, their outer shell is one of the hardest metals in existance, and covered in rather sharp blade-like appendages. They are, in theory, the least deadly of the Ooze family, as a Blade Jelly is rather reclusive, and actually one of the more intelligent of the Oozes. Like all Oozes, they don't have to eat constantly, as it only really makes them build more mass, or in the case of the Blade Jelly, build up a thicker defense. They have one weakness however; as they are a mass of metal spikes, as well as a squishy semi-liquid jelly, they can quite easily be put down with a liberal application of electricity."

"Now, onto the more ordinary kinds of Oozes. First up, we have the Gelatinous Cube, which, as it's name points out, is in the shape of a a cube. They are the least intelligent of all of the Oozes, and have actually been used as street cleaners in the past. They tend to come into being inside of abandoned castles, and caves, but can live just about anywhere. They are mostly scavengers, and while large, aren't a very big threat."

"Next on the list would be the common Slime, which would be the most well known form of Ooze. They were rather ordinary, and of small size, weighing in at only around 50 kilos, but are quite the threat should you have entered their territory. They were a pack hunter, and were known to come to be in any sewer that could be use a good cleaning, thus making such places a popular, if disgusting, place for the Adventurers of old to search. However, like many popular hunting targets of Adventurers, they were hunted to extinction, and eventually stopped coming to be, as the magic content of the outside world slowly became so low that no Youkai could be spawned any longer. While Youkai can survive out there, most would rather live in this paradise that was created for that very reason."

"There are many forms of Elementals, and even Oozes have their own. You have Wood Jellies, which feed upon wood, and any creature they happen upon. Magma Jellies are said to live in only the hottest of locals, but none have ever been studdied. Aqua Jellies are the kind of Ooze you would find in oceans; they eat fish, as well as whatever they might bumble into, as they are far from skilled swimmers. There are Wind Jellies, which happen to be able to fly, like to crash into their prey with a wet smack, before flying off with their meal deep within them. Rock Jellies have been debated as to if they are an Elemental Jelly for many centuries, but there has never been any consensus as to this, so they are considered ordinary, if rather unique, Oozes."

"Another form of Ooze that was hunted to extinction would be another kind of common Slime, which, unlike their sewer bound cousin, were usually found in open plains, grasslands, and even woods. They were one of the more disturbing slimes, as they would save the eyes and mouths of their prey for the use of being a rather creepy sight, as it causes their prey to fear them, thus feeding them further. Inside of their bodies, one would have almost always seen a pair of human eyes, and an intact mouth, which were always a leftover from their prior victim. However, they are quite gone, thanks to those senseless Crusaders known as Adventurers."

One of the children rose their hand. "Yes, Aoi?" I smiled to the young blue haired girl.

"What's an Adventurer?" Ahh, that's a good question.

"That will be answered in another lesson, but they were a kind of Youkai hunter, as well as Thieves." You know, now that I think about it, that sounds a bit like...

"Ehh? Wouldn't my Apprentice be considered an Adventurer if that is so?" Ehh?

"Apprentice?" I didn't know that Mima taught anyone...

"What, have you not met Marisa?" ...What?

"...So it was _your _doing that that girl learned how to use a move much like your own...?" I hate that infernal magic cannon...

"Hehe, yeah, she's pretty good at that, huh?" Mima was quite proud of her apprentice.

"...Quite..." I pulled back, and gave Mima a headbutt, which Rumia caught by spreading out both arms to the sides, and hopping at the exact right time.

The egg timer went off, signifying the end of class.

"Ahh-ahh-ahh, no harming my Mima." W-what? Since when was Rumia so fast?

I tried to pull away, but Rumia began to dig her fingers into my flesh.

And so strong?

"Now, Sunshine, it's not good to lose your temper!" Mima lifted the smaller girl from the ground, causing her to blush and let go of my skull.

"Mmm..." Rumia was momentarily pacified by Mima's embrace.

"Hehe, so cute..." Mima couldn't help but enjoy herself when Rumia made such cute sounds.

"...Teacher, can we go now...?" One of the students was getting a bit antsy, as class was over.

"Ahh, right. Class dismissed." I turned to the class, so as to wave them goodbye, while the wound of my forehead was slowly trickling blood down my face.

"Remember this one things, Keine... I don't care if you harm me, but try and hurt Mima, and the saint _will_ be crucified." ...I'm no saint, but I do believe I understand the meaning behind her words.

I think I may have underestimated Rumia a fair bit... I always took her for a bit strong, but... I think I may have indents in my skull from her fingers...

Rumia left it at that, and slung the sleeping Cirno over her shoulder, before making her exit along side the one she loves. I noticed them begin to hold hands, before they had gone out of sight.

I suppose I should tend to my wound, huh...?


	5. Vampire 101: How to Cure Rigor Mortis

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N: Ehehe... I can't remember who it was that suggested Vampires! If it was you, please do say so!

Night, Keine's classroom, Keine's PoV:

Remilia should be here by now... She said she would come by as soon as it was dark enough, as per our agreement! She's getting docked a pint for this...

Just as I had decided to lower her payment, a scarlet haired woman slid open my door.

"We are here, as you requested, Miss Kamishirasawa." What's Meiling doing here? I've never seen her away from her post before!

"Booored..." Wait, that doesn't sound like Remilia...

After Meiling had cleared the doorway, Flandre Scarlet made her grand entrance soon after.

"W-w-what's _she _doing here? !" I hid behind my desk, as I had heard that that girl can destroy anything she can make eye contact with.

"...You know, if she _really_ wanted to harm you, she would do so from the mansion... Anyways, Lady Remilia couldn't make it, so she figured it would be funny to send her sister in her stead. I'm simply here because... Well, need I say why...?" Funny, my ass! That girl could- wait, did she say that she could destroy me from their mansion? That's an enormous range!

"Ahaha... R-really?" The thought of the sort of damage that little Vampire could cause, yet doesn't, was enough to humble me.

"I don't want to make _all_ my playmates go kyuu! That'd be boring!" ...Again, how is it funny to send her?

Just then, another joined us; she bounced her way through the door, arms reaching out before her, her head banging into the top of the door frame. "Ooooooww..." She tried to rub the top of her head, but was far too stiff to move any of the joints involved in the action.

"...A Jiang Shi?" Meiling, being from China, recognized the kind of Youkai that was before them. "...I wasn't expecting you to be so thorough with the sorts of Vampires you would teach about..." ...A Jiang Shi is a kind of Vampire? Well, you learn new things every day, huh?

"She's so quiet! I don't hear any thump thump..." Flandre seemed put off by the lack of the sweet tune of the dead girl's heart.

"That's because she's dead, Young Mistress." Meiling said as such matter-of-factly.

"...Where aaaaam I?" The Jiang Shi looked about while speaking in monotone. Well, more like hopped a bit, so as to turn, as her head can hardly turn.

"Ahh, this is the human village, and, to be more exact, my classroom." It was a bit awkward to speak with a corpse, even if she oddly didn't stink like one would expect. ...She was a bit bloated from the summer heat, though.

"...Can I eeeeat you?" The girl began to drool, while still speaking in monotone. ...Why would one ask such a thing?

"Nnno, but, if you teach about your kind of Vampire, I'll give you..." I thought for a moment, before turning to Meiling. "What do they eat?" My voice was hardly audiable.

"Souls mostly, but that one has the power to eat anything, I hear." ...Anything, huh?

"...Give me whaaaat...?" It seems I had confused the corpse, as she had a tired, yet confused, expression upon her face.

"Five Kilos of things to eat." Had to word that just right.

"...Ohh booooy, I love 'thiings'." Her voice had remained a monotone with every phrase, and her arms still out infront of her, as though she simply was unable to sound any other way, or lower her arms.

"W-well, would you like a seat? You look like you could use a rest..." She looked like she was about to keel over! ...Actually, as she's dead, she just might...

"...I'll staand; I'm not able to beeeend my baack." I wonder why that is? "I've got a baaaad case of rigor mortiiiis." ...Well, that explains it.

"I could help with that!" Flandre had a myschievous grin upon her face.

"...Reeeeaally? ...Do teeell." While her interest was piqued, the Jiang Shi still spoke in monotone.

"N-now, Flan... Don't break the poor thing...!" Meiling seemed warry of letting the little Vampire do as she spoke of.

"Don't worry, Meiling! I'll be gentle~!" Flandre skipped over to the stiff corpse, intent of helping.

"...Whaaat is it you plaa-" Flandre jumped up, and hugged the torso of the corpse, while using her legs to hook behind each of her upper thight, and instantly bend the stiff muscles of her back and thighs into that of a sitting angle. "...That huuurt a looot..." A single tear escaped the Jiang Shi's eye.

"There! All better!" Flandre hopped down with a grin of victory.

"...Are you... okay...?" Meiling didn't seem so convinced that her fellow countrymen had been helped.

The Jiang Shi slowly straitened her back back out. "...I don't remeeember the last tiime I was able to bend my baaaack..." The girl seemed happy, even if she didn't sound it.

"...'S that so..." Meiling thought a bit on this for a moment, before coming to a conclusion. "Hey, want help with bending the rest? With my help, it'll probably hurt less!" Meiling now had a way to pass the time before class, should the corpse accept.

"...Suuuure, I like this... flexability thiiing." The girl smiled slightly, while still maintaining the usual monotone.

"Yay!" Flandre seemed happy about being able to do things other than break people for once. "My name's Flan, what's yours? !" Flandre had a happy little grin stretched across her features, and held out her hand so as shake hands with the corpse she now felt a bit of a bond with.

"...The naame's Yoshikaaaa." Yoshika bent her now working, yet sore, back muscles, so as to connect hands. After contact was made, Flandre took it the rest of the way by helping her new friend move her shoulder a bit.

"Nice to meet you, Yoshikaaaa!" Flandre, ignorant to the pattern that was Yoshika's way of speaking, took the way she said her name at face value.

"...Drop the extra aaa at the eeeend." Yoshika couldn't help but make a few gasping sort of sounds, which was as close to a laugh as she could pull off.

The rest of the hour was spent causing Yoshika excruciating, yet needed, pain. By the end, she could actally _walk_ which was utterly new to her, as she was without any memories of her life. However, she still preffered to hop.


	6. Vampire 101: Lesson 1 Part 1

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N: Been a short while since I last did this, ehh? Well, let's fix that, shall we? On with the show!

Late night, Keine's classroom, Flandre's PoV:

Ohh, I hear the pitter patter of little feet!

Within a minute, the very first young human ran through the already open door to the the classroom.

Upon seeing my glowing red eyes, Yoshika's ofuda, and Meiling's well known outfit, the boy did a 180 and tried to make his escape.

I closed the distance between us, and cut off his only exit, all in the single beat of a heart. Mine, not his. _His_ was going thump thump like crazy. Probably in the time of two of his.

"Going somewhere?" I gave a toothy grin, which exposed my fangs to him. The boy just about piddled himself in terror, as he now knew I was a vampire.

"Young Mistress, that's enough; you're scaring the poor child half to death!" Meiling's voice sounded of disaproval, while Keine was sighing to herself.

"Perhapse it would be best if you three hid yourselfs untill it's time for the lesson..." Like hide and seek? Miss lunch hat seems fun!

"Okay!" I skipped off towards the closet she had opened, the young boy's hand now within my own. Meiling had done a good job with teaching me how not to break things, so his hand was in an unbreakable, yet gentle, grip.

"Young Mistress, please let the child go..." Meiling made her way to the closet, the Jiang Shi slung over her shoulder as though Yoshika weighed absolutely nothing.

"...Ohh, suuuure, just pick me uuuuup. I won't mind at aaaall to be carried about like a sack of potatooooes..." Yoshika complained a bit in her usual monotone voice, while actually enjoying the feel of a warm body against her cold, dead one a great deal. Well, slightly warm, thanks to the heat.

"Fiiiine..." I let go of the little boy's hand, much to his relief, just as I was about to drag him into the closet, which was now chock full of Youkai.

Keine closed the door behind us, just as the next few children made their way into the school.

Keine's PoV:

"Daniel... Were you trying to skip class just now?" I had a murderous air about myself at this point.

"N-n-no...! I w-wasn't!" The boy was now even more scared, as he was expecting a headbutt; just this year alone, three children, one of which being a Youkai, had been sent to Eientei due to a cracked, or shattered, skull. You would think they would know better than to invoke my wrath by now... It was actually a bit sad seeing just how much better Cirno's grades were than the rest of the class... She ended up getting 99s on everything, while the top student only got an 80 at best...

Maybe I should institute a policy that whoever does the worst in the year gets a headbutt...

"Regardless, as punishment, you're to be the one to be used for any examples needed in the coming weeks. Ohh, don't give me that look; none of them will be lethal, and I'll be sure to not let any... _lethal _harm come to you." My classes take place once a week, so it may take awhile before he's been absolved of his crimes.

It wasn't much longer before the rest of the class had arived. Once the last had arived, I locked the doors, as I didn't want anyone to end up doing as Daniel had failed to do.

"Now, class, we have... a few special guests today! As with Rumia, they'll be coming to class untill this section of classes has ended... Now, I'm sure you're wondering what sort of class this might be! Well, it's a class on Vampires, and other sorts of similar creatures!" The class began to grow fidjety, as a fear of creatures that live off nothing but blood are the sorts of things that humans tend to find a bit scary.

"Now, you three may come out now." The children all flinched at the thought of not one, not two, but _three Youkai _being involved.

On queue, the closet door slid open, and out came those who were the subjects of interest, and the retainer of one of them.

"Hi!" Flandre began to skip her way to my side, a grin that could melt any heart upon her face, had the vast majority of children not been afraid of the rather long fangs that she bore.

"...Helloooo." Yoshika began to hop her way over to us surprisingly quickly for a corpse. The children were more so confused than scared of Yoshika, as they didn't have any clue as to what she is, save for her obviously being a Youkai.

"Good evening, young ones." Meiling gave a gentle smile, and a small wave, as she calmly made her way over to us. The students mostly felt as though they should be careful of her, yet had no real fealings of fear towards to girl.

"Now, class, they aren't going to hurt you! Stop scratching at the walls, and trying to dig your way out. Isn't that right, girls?" I gave a smile to the three Youkai, most of which were highly dangerous.

"I'll try not to break anything!" Flandre gave me a happy little smile. I doubt I'd get anything more from her, so I'll ignore that...

"You've nothing to fear from me." Meiling doesn't eat human flesh, so her threat to humans as a whole is null. Now, if you're a vampire hunter, that's a different story!

"...Braaaai- I mean, suuure, so long as you feeeeed me. I only eeeat when I'm huuuungry, and don't particularly caaaaare what it is that I eat when I dooo eat.

"...Right... See? They don't have any plans to eat any of you! Just don't put your hand in Yoshika's mouth, and you should be fine!" I smiled to the class, who didn't seem to listen. All the humans were still scrabling at the walls like mice in a glass cage. "...That means _get in your seats, brats._" My eyes began to ever so slightly glow red due to my short fuse. Suddenly, the children found my implied threat more dangerous to their immediate health than a few Youkai.

The children timidly returned to their seats.

"Now! Flandre, I'd like you to tell the class everything you know about vampires. If you need a demonstration for anything that won't badly maim, or kill," I locked eyes with Daniel. "just let me know." I smiled once more, my anger now dissipated.

"Okay, miss lunchbox!" Flandre skipped to the front of the class, so as to play teacher.

Flandre's PoV:

"Now, class, does anyone have any questions before we begin?" I began to act like a propper teacher, if only for the sake of my own ammusement.

Two hands rose.

"Yes?" I pointed to the one on the left side.

"Well... Umm, this is going to sound a bit strange, but... Why do your wings look like twigs...?" Ahh! The one that smells like lots of fear has a point!

"Well, one day I was bored... I once had a pretty pair of bat wings, like any other Vampire, but I had nothing else to play with!" I began to grin with glee. "And so, I played with them! It hurt a bit, and they ended up going crunch crunch, snap snap, rip rip, so my big sister's friend, Patchouli, fixed them up! She put a pair of magical seeds in my back, and infused them with lots of magic! After that, she created a lot of those pretty magic gems of hers, and fused them to the twigs! After that, she filled them with so very much magic that I got a bit light in the head, so it gets a bit fuzzy after that... Anyways, the gems make me able to fly without the use of wind!" As an example, I began to flap my wings, and took to the air. The air wasn't disturbed in the least, and I only had to flap every other second, thus showing the capabilities of my wings.

Keine's eye went wide at the mention of Patchouli. Could it be? After all these years?

"Flandr-" Keine began to ask a question, but I cut her off.

"Now, Miss lunch hat, I'm the teacher right now; if you have a question, you have to raise your hand just like everybody else!" I looked over my shoulder to her, with a frown on my face.

"Ghh..." Keine clenched her teeth, and begrudgingly rose her hand.

"Now, back to the order in which the hands were raised." I smiled, and pointed to the second child.

"Umm... What does blood taste like?" Blood? ...Does he mean the red stuff?

"Ahh, that's right... Big sis said that red stuff is called that, I think... Anyways, if you mean the red stuff that's currently making you go thump thump so much faster than normal... I guess I'd say copper, mixed with the tiniest amount of sugar! Sister says there's a subtle differances between types that I'll begin to appreciate when I'm older, even if she's only five years older than me, and she said that around five years ago..." I sighed, and gave a shrug. Honestly, I think she's just messing with me. How would 'O' and 'A+' taste any different? Food effecting it makes some sense, but not red stuff type...

I turned around, and pointed to Keine, who was grinding her teeth in annoyance while holding her arm up.

"You said Patchouli... Where is she?" What an odd question...

"While that's got nothing to do with the lesson, I guess I can still answer that... She's our head librarian at the mansion!" Keine had always wondered what had happened to her old friend, yet she never returned... Keine missed that girl, as she'd been rather lonely without her friend around.

"Now, back to the lesson!" ...What do I teach now? "...Any other questions?" None raised their hand, so I guess it's time to start! "Umm... Well, Vampires are able to turn humans into more Vampires by way of sucking out all of their red stuff! Which reminds me, who wants to be the example of what blood sucking looks like?" Most of the children gave a raised brow to this, yet none gave a raised hand. They couldn't help but wonder who in their right mind would willingly say yes.

Keine began to grin at Daniel, who she had told would be used for such things. The poor boy looked more and more scared by the second.

"Flandre, we've already got a designated test subject. Daniel, come to the front, if you will." The poor boy was shaking with fear at this point, at the thought of being forced to let a Youkai bite him.

The boy with the fastest thump thump began to make his way to the front of the room, looking as though he was holding back tears.

Ohh, he smells tasty- n-no... big sis said not to get destracted while feeding again, or else I'd end up turning yet another human!

I licked my lips, and let my fangs extend. Have to hold back for now...

"Th-this is... This is what a Vampires f-fangs look like... while extended..." I opened my mouth wide, and showed the class my now four centimetre long upper fangs. I couldn't help but drool a bit, as he smelled so very delicious, and I could so easily push the frail boy down and drain hi- No! Bad Flan!

"N-now... gather 'round, so that e-everyone can see..." My ability to resist the temptation of giving his wrist a pointed little kiss was wearing thin at this point.

Once everyone was in range, I grabbed the boys trembling wrists, and ever so gently began to sniff for a good artery. Ahh, there we go! Right on the soft and bendy side of his elbow! I pressed my fangs against his skin, which caused him to flinch slightly, before easily slipping them into his skin, causing him to flinch harder against the steel-like grip which was holding his arms stock still. His warm red stuff began to gently pour into my mouth, which I greedily sucked up, making sure not to spill a drop. Judging by his size, I'm sure it'd be fine to make a light meal out of him.

After the flow of food had slowed, and I had taken enough to fill my already mostly full belly, I began to release the antidote for the anticoagulant in my spit. Vampires have both the ability to stop the process of the wound sealing, and to seal it upon being finished. It'd be bad to leave people bleeding, you know?

"Hah... I haven't had a meal that tasty since I turned my little sister!" I couldn't help but let out a happy little sigh.

"I take it that's the last of what you wanted to teach?" Keine couldn't help but find the happy little smile on my face a bit cute, even if I had annoyed her a bit.

"No... I have one last thing to teach~!" I began to grin evily. Let's see... what can I kyuu... "Anything around here that it would be okay for me to make go kyuu?" Keine had almost forgotten about that little power of mine over the destruction of nearly anything.

"Ahh... I'll go get a carboard box." Keine tended to make trips to Kourindou, and the things there tend to come in carboard boxes, so she had a few at any given time.

Upon returning, I was handed a big brown box. Ohh, this'll do nicely! I placed it on the ground, and stepped away.

"Keep your eye on the box, and don't blink! I'm going to show you what Kyuuing looks like!" Some of the children rose a brow at my choice of words, but said nothing. You don't want to make a Vampire angry after all.

"Kyuu!" I crushed the glowing red sphere that was the eye cluster of the box, and it began to turn black, and shrivel up into ash.

Needless to say, the children all feared me slightly more than before from that display of power.


	7. Vampire 101: Lesson 1 Part 2

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun.

A/N:ARRRRG! When I saved with about 400 words in, it reset to nothing! T~T Dammit...

A/N2:Uuu~ My pet snake, Viper, died... I'll miss her...

Late night, Keine's Classroom, Flandre's PoV:

"So! With that out of the way, who wan't to touch me?" I had the most innocent grins on my face, making one wonder if I even realized what I just offered. Which I didn't

Keine choked on her glass of water, which she had been drinking so as to prepare for her fast approaching role in the lesson, while the vast majority of the students had a blush on their face.

"Umm... Young Mistress, may I perhaps suggest that you rephrase that...? What you said was very... vague." Meiling tried her best to fix the situation at hand, without giving me anything to become curious about, as Remilia would have her head should she end up destroying my innocence by mistake.

"Ahh... Well, if you say so... Umm, ahh, I know!" I pounded the bottom of my fist against my opposite hand that was in a cupped position. "Who wants to touch my wings and fangs? I'd want to do the same, if I wasn't me! It'd be silly for me to offer that to myself, though... I mean, I could just use that one spellcard that makes more of me and touch myself all I like!" I giggled, and bounced my wings enticingly. Once more the room became confused, but this time about what I do when I'm alone.

Meiling and Keine simply sighed this time, and made no efforts to correct me, while Yoshika watched a fly buzzing about the room; as soon as the fly landed near her, she took a pair of chopsticks she kept handy for various reasons and caught the buzzing pest with them, before gobbling it up. Not only does she have the power to eat anything, she also has the _desire_ to eat anything. The scant few students that had been paying her any attention were disgusted by her choice in a meal.

Though, it seems a bit odd for her to have chopsticks when, untill recently, she couldn't bend her arms.

It took a few moments for the offer to sink in, and a bit longer still untill even even a single child timidly approached me.

"U-umm... Miss Flandre, I'm curious about your fangs... Would it be okay if I saw them...?" The first that asked to see my fangs was a boy that was a head shorter than Meiling, and had a shiny black bowl cut, along with a matching pair of glasses; he looked exactly what one would expect a nerd to look like.

"Sure! You can even touch them, if you like!" As soon as I had finished speaking, I held opened my mouth as far as I could without risking a sore jaw.

The young man kneeled down, and gave my fangs a good once over, before brushing a trembling finger over my upper left one. As his wrist was so close, the scent and sound of his pumping blood filled my senses, which caused my upper fangs to slowly double in length, and my mouth to water just a bit. Why must so many of these humans have such sweet smelling red stuff...? Maybe they eat lots of sweets?

Upon seeing that one of their oldest classmates was fine, a few more students began to aproach me, which put a smile on Keine's face. It was a long road to ending the descrimination towards her fellow Youkai, and she had taken a bit of a gamble on starting this class, but thus far every Youkai, even particularly dangerous ones, have been utterly cooprative in this endeavour of hers.

Most of the children were more curious about my unique wings, which had won a prize for how silly they seem, and ran fingers over the iron-bark of the shaft, and fondled the 16 Philosopher's Stones that hung by invisible chains from them.

"Ahh..." With every stroke of the metal-like bark of my wings, and the gentlest of tugs I felt from my crystaline stones, I couldn't help but feel just a bit strange.

Upon hearing me let out the sound I had let out, the students all began to grow more interested in my wings, untill I had 16 hands rubbing my 16 hanging gems, while another pair were stroking their fingers across the iron-bark rods. The stimulation was an odd, yet nice one. However, I didn't understand such sensations, so it felt a bit weird to me.

Somewhere along the way, they had managed to get the zipper on the back of my vest undone, which allowed the roots of my wings, which were quite similar those of a tree, to be exposed to the air. The children made several noises of amazement at how similar my wings were to trees, before being interrupted by me attempting to lift my wings from their grasp, only to have jolts of and alien sort of pleasure surge through my wings from how it tugged at the stones that hung from them. I gave up on pulling them free, as those 16 jolts of pleasure drained my strength away in an instant.

"E-enough..." I couldn't speak very loudly, so it was a bit hard for me to be noticed. "I... I said th-that's enough...!" I spoke in a quiet shout, which was only just enough to cause the students to flinch in fear. They had forgotten themselfs, and overstepped the boundary of okay, and not okay, so they all let go of my wings in mere moments, before they sped away so as to return to their seats.

I weakly stumbled over to Meiling, and tugged the hem of her dress, which was my usual indicator that I wanted up. Meiling instantly understood my request, and picked my up so she could cradle me in her arms, where I simply snuggled in. Meiling noted to herself on how effective that had been to reduce me to less strength that that of human children, should such information ever be needed, while I dozed off in her arms.

Keine's PoV:

"...W-well, I suppose that was a rather... unique way to end her portion of the lesson, wasn't it?" I couldn't help but laugh a bit awkwardly, as I noticed the sounds that Flandre made just as much as the children around her, and yet did nothing. One doesn't learn things about unique Youkai without taking a few risks.

"I suppose I'll be closing up this class, won't I? Alright... where to begin..." I cleared my throat, stood up, pushed my seat in, and stood before the class.

"There are three sub-catagories within the Vampire family of Youkai. Western Vampires, which are the easiest to identify with. Then you have Jiang shi, which I didn't actually know were a form of Vampire untill... recently, and Oni. Yes, Oni. Oni are actually a cousin of the Western Vampire, but we'll get into that once that portion of the class arrives. Western Vampires have a set of four curiosly sharp fangs which look rather ordinary, and yet can penetrate centimetre thick leather if need be; these fangs will extend upon said Western Vampire smelling the blood within your veins, and then you'll know that they are hungry. At that time of discovering this, if said vampire is by some means your friend, you can offer them some of your blood with little risk, unless they aren't _actually _your friend. However, if the Vampire isn't careful, and drains the vary last drop of your blood, you will become a Thrall. While it's believed that Thralls are bound to the one that turned them into a Vampire, this is, in fact, untrue; the only binding involved with becoming a Thrall would be to join the family of that Vampire. For example: if she were to have sucked Daniel's blood dry, he would have become a Vampire of the Scarlet family. However, within the human body there is a point of no return; once around half of your blood has been drained, there is a good chance that you would die regardless of if they stop. Any Vampire can easily tell when they have to either choose between letting you die, or drinking that last sanguine drop, by many indicators, such as blood pressure, skin tone, pulse strength, and your level of conciousness." As this wasn't an ordinary class, I made no notes on the board. Unlike my normal classes, this one is for any that are willing to come, and aren't graded at all. However, I still take skipping just as seriously as any other class of mine, as one has to sign up for the class.

"Now, there is another subclass of Western Vampire. This would be the Nosferatu, which Flandre, and her sister, Remilia, are-" My speech was interrupted by Meiling.

"There's actually a third Scarlet sister now, as Flandre had an... accident with a playmate of hers. She didn't know about turning others and such, so now they have a younger sister named Usagi." I rose my brow at this, as it seems a bit irresponsible to not tell one as dangerous as Flandre about such an important aspect of her life, but let it slide, as that seems to be fixed now. That's like having a teenager that knows about sex, and yet doesn't know about pregnancy...

"Ahh, right. _And _their younger sister, Usagi, too. Nosferatu, and their Thralls, are what one could reffer to as royalty among Western Vampires. However, this position has become all but meaningless with how few Western Vampires remain as a whole... Western Vampires have been hunted nearly to the point of extinction, as they are seen as evil by a very specialized Guild of Adventurers known as Vampire Hunters. Tralls, unlike their naturally born kin, have dry veins which they must replenish with the blood of others on a regular basis. If they don't, they become more and more like what most believe all vampires to be members of; unlike Undead, which include Jiang Shi, Tralls only take on a few of the traits of a Zombie when they don't feed enough, such as cold skin, slowly rotting flesh, a stopped heart, a lack of need to breathe, and a very... potent thirst for blood, as well as the meat that contains it. Like Oni, if they really, truely wish to, a Western Vampire can sustain itself on naught but alchohol, as their fangs work similar to the horn of an Oni in the way they make specific liquids into a sustaining meal. Naturally born Vampire can choose to sustain themselfs on any food that most other Youkai can digest, which includes anything humans can digest, while Thralls need both food, and blood, to survive in... a reasonable condition. Next to none of the supposed weaknesses of Vampires are actually true, save for water, which weakens them, sunlight, which will slowly burn them to a crisp, and holy energies, which can, with enough power, instantly reduce any form of Vampire to ash." I went quiet, and began to think if there was anything that I had forgotten to teach.

The egg timer went off, as per usual, and marked the end of my class. "Alright, I'll see you all next week, or tomorrow, depending on if you've passed my classes. Class dismissed." The children happily ran off to the doors, which happened to be locked.

"Umm... Miss Keine, the doors are locked..." Ahh, that's right.

Once I had unlocked the door, and let the children go for the night, and returned to my desk with a sigh, while the trio of Youkai remained.

Flandre had woken up, but was still a bit out of it, as it was nearing her bed time.

"...I was wondering wheeeen you'll need my heeeelp...?" Yoshika, while not tired, generally spends the days of spring and summer underground in some form of the word, as the heat of day isn't very good for her.

"Ahh, right. I'll need your help exactly one week from now, and, if you happen to know any Oni, it'd be nice if you could send them here two weeks from now.

"You need an Oni?" Meiling was taken by surprise, as Oni are rather easy to come by.

"Yeah, do you know of one?" I asked half jokingly, as I'd been unable to find the one that _everyone _knows of.

"...You could say that, yeah. If you can't find another whenever you need an Oni, I'll bring one in. However, only use that as a last resort, as she hates being known about." An Oni that hates being known about...? Could it be that one deva that hides among humans?

"Well, alright... Thank you." I guess I should try harder to find Suika, even if I _do _wish to meet this mystery Oni.

"So I don't forgeeeet to come iiin next week, can I staaaay here?" What? I thought she stayed in that one graveyard by the Temple...

As if reading my mind, Meiling responded in my place. "What? But I thought you were living in the Myouren Temple's Graveyard!" She had actually heard of it by word of mouth, as the fairy maids tend to sneak away at times, and some of them got eaten in the graveyard by a supposed hopping corpse, which she had assumed to be a Jiang Shi. She was right, obviously.

"...Mama kicked me ouuut, because I wasn't able to keep intruuuuders out..." Yoshika's voice was a monotone with a hint of sadness to it, while she looked to the ground.

"Well, why not sta-" Flandre yawned wide, before continuing her offer. "Why not stay at the Scarlet Devil Mansion?" Ohh? Well, now I don't have to turn down Yoshika, as I would be in a great deal of trouble for harbouring Youkai. Again.

"Y-young Mistress, I don't think your sister would be fine wi-" Flandre placed a finger on Meiling's lips, so as to silence her.

"I'll just have to... persuade her, now won't I?" The childish look in Flandre's eyes faded into a very sharp look, much like that of her sister, Remilia.

Meiling was surprised that Flandre would say such a thing, to be honest.

"Can got your tongue? Well, I suppose I'll take that as an 'Okay, Young Mistress' unless you have any argument against it?" Flandre had a smile on her lips that gushed charisma.

"Y-yes, Young Mistress." It was rare that Flandre acted her age, as she finds it much more enjoyable to act like a child. While she is actually more mature than she lets on, she's still ignorant to the ways of the world, a bit unhinged, and innocent in many respects.

"Good! Now, I bid you farewell, Keine." She gave me a short wave, before speaking once more. "Come, Yoshika. We should be headed for the mansion before the sun rises, as I'd rather not risk burns." Upon the command being given, Meiling, who was sighing to herself, began to walk for the door.

I was taken by surprise by the whole situation, and simply gaped in shock.

"Bye, Miss Lunchbox!" Flandre returned to acting childish, and gave me a wave from over Meiling's shoulder, while Yoshika hopped after her, arms in front of her.

Once more, Yoshika banged her head on the door frame, and moaned in pain a bit, but didn't stop chasing after her new Vampire friend.


	8. Vampire 101: Lesson 2 Part 1

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle.

A/N: And now, for yet another lesson on the workings of Youkai! The Jiang Shi! I for one am interested in how this will turn out, as I honestly make up all of these facts that aren't based on legends and such as I go! On with the show!

Night, Keine's Classroom, Keine's PoV:

While waiting for whoever might come, I was busy thinking back to the past few weeks. With every passing week, the Youkai and human sides of my classes have been getting along better, and better. This risk really was worth it, wasn't it? If all goes well, I'll be able to stamp out the rampant racisim in this village within about 80 years, tops. It brings a tear to my eye, with just how well the human children have gotten along with the Youkai students, as well as Youkai that plead guilty to being Man-eaters. They know that the human village is safe, unless they act foolishly, so why shouldn't they treat any of the more civilized, law abiding Youkai with respect? Any Youkai that successfully attacks those they shouldn't be is forced out into the outside world, where they gradually waste away, so the risks are honestly quite slim so long as one stays away from the Hakurei Shrine, Youkai Forest, and Youkai Mountain... For whatever reason, that shrine has the highest concentration of Man-eating Youkai. You would think that Miko's actions long ago would have kept them all away, really.

My thought process was interrupted by the now familiar thump of when skull and wood join together in harmony, thanks to Yoshika.

"...Owwww... That huuurt..." She picked the hat from the top of her head, and rubbed the offending pain away. She seemed to have gotten used to bendable joints in the last week, even if she still hops about.

"We're here." Meiling entered, soon after Yoshika had cleared herself from the doorway. In her arms was a rather bored Flandre, who smiled upon locking eyes with me.

"Heya, miss Lunchbox!" ...She really does like to call me that, doesn't she...? Is her nose really so strong that she can smell the remnants of a long since eaten lunch that was once within it?

"Hello, you three." I gave them a nod from my usual seat behind my desk.

"Hey, Keine... Have you found an Oni? Or is my friend going to be needed?" Ohh, that's right.

"Sadly, Suika declined..." I let out a heavy sigh of annoyance, before continuing, "Her reasoning was, and I quote 'I need to always be prepared for a good party on the weekends!' whilst in the process grinning like an idiot. She was also slurring her words, but it's easier to leave that out." Why must all Oni think of nothing but parties...? I know it's in their nature, but it's annoying!

Meiling let out a long sigh of annoyance that trumped my own, and began to speak in an annoyed tone. "I guess I've no choice... What time should I be telling her to arive? Same time, next week?" Meiling's eyes were like a window; behind this window was a very annoyed woman. She never did like how dedicated Oni were to such things, even if she seemed capable of making friends with atleast the one.

"Sorry... I didn't intend to-" Before I could finish my appology, Meiling spoke over me.

"It's fine." Her expression, however, said quite the opposite. It was one you would expect of one facing their death. Just what sort of monster is this Oni she speaks of?

"...Yes. This time, next week." I sighed, and gave up on trying to figure out what had made her moody. "Ohh, and if any students try to flee, I'd like for you three to round them up." Yoshika gave a slight toothy grin at the order. She never recieved orders anymore, so she was happy; however, with the way she looked, I easily misunderstood her intentions. "...And don't eat them..." I locked eyes with the grinning corpse, who tilted her head to the side at my suddenly serious tone.

The whole time we waited, Yoshika was doing stretches. It must have been quite difficult to keep your body from going stiff, when Rigor mortis begins so quickly in such warm weather.

By the time the entire class had arrived, only 6 of them had tried to escape. Needless to say, the three guest speakers had two slung over their shoulder, each, and Flandre was now standing beside Meiling.

After having them each set down upon class starting, I began to lecture them. "Now, what have you six learned?" I had my arms crossed over my chest, and was giving them a rather disappointed look. I wasn't happy that so many had tried to make a break for it, to say the least.

In unison, they all began to say, "Don't run from the Guest Speakers..." They all sounded rather miffed at being held by the Youkai for so long. Daniel was among them

"And Daniel..." He looked at me shyly. "That's strike _two."_ My eyes began to glow ever so lightly, warning him of my growing desire to headbutt him. "Now, you six return to your seats." I spoke in an authoritive voice, while pointing to where the rest of the class was.

I made my way to the front of class, where I began my introduction to the lesson. "Today we will be continuing the class on Vampires, by way of having a special guest! I have little to add to this class, so Yoshika will likely be the only one speaking today." I return to my seat, and let Yoshika walk forward.

Yoshika's PoV:

"...Hello, yoooung humans, and Yooooukai..." My voice was the same as always; monotone, and sounding of boredom, even if I was rather excited. It's not every day that you get to talk to human children, when you are a walking corpse. "...I'll be your teeeeacher for the niiiight. ...Any queeeestions?" As soon as I had requested questions, half the arms in the sea of desks and chairs shot up.

"...Yooou." I slowly pointed at one of the children, which caused a cold chill to run down the spine of the young boy.

"U-u-umm..." The child swallowed his heart, which was now in his throat, before continuing. "Why do you extend bits of everything you say...?" With that question asked, half of the hands lowered instantly.

"...Ohh, thaaat's part of being a zoooombie. Beyond thaaat, I haven't a cluuue..." I quickly got used to it, so I never particularly questioned it.

"...Yooooou..." I pointed at another student at random, who jumped upon my clawed finger being directed towards them.

"M-miss Yoshika, what's it like being dead...?" Another portion of the hands lowered, reducing the number of arms that were aimed at the ceiling to only three.

"...I don't really feel paaain so well; I've nothing to compaaare it to, but I just knooow... I also constantly have an annoying huuunger for sooooouls, which I manage to beat baaack by way of eating gaaarbage." The children, along Keine, all cringed at this, as it was a lesser known fact about me; the last order I was given before I was kicked out by mama was to stop consuming human souls, and I wasn't about to go back on that.

"...You." I slowly rose my hand and pointed to a young girl, who seemed overjoyed at the attention I gave her.

"Miss Yoshika, how did you become as you are?" Her eyes were sparkling with admiration for me. What an odd thing to admire...

"...I diiiied, and then mama brought me baack to liiiife... After thaaat, she enchanted me so as nooot to roooot, and instead smell like floooowers..." It's true; I smell like daisies. My breath, however... that's a different story.

"...Yooou..." I pointed at one more of the children, this one with a look of curiosity that just missed my eyes.

"Yoshika, what's that bit of paper on your face for?" As they asked the question, they had their finger trained upon my forehead, and the paper that was tacked into my skull.

"...Ahh, thaaaat's a good queeeestion... What's it saaay?" I looked towards Keine, who was a short distance behind me.

"Ahh, you wish for me to read it! Okay, let's see..." Keine began to lean toward me, so as to get a better look. "Be quirky. Be cute. Elongate words seemingly at random. Be a bit of a clutz. And the last ones look somewhat fresh... Be your own master. Forge your own destiny. Stop eating humans so much. And finally... 'I love you, Yoshika' ...That last one really doesn't seem like an order..." Ehh? Mama wrote all of that...? I... Really...?

I couldn't help but smile a bit, while a scant few tears made their way down my cheeks. Mama still loves me...? That makes me so very happy...

I turned back around to face the class, while wipeing away the tears.

"...Yooou..." My voice was still but a single tone, but It was just a bit less cold, somehow, while I pointed to the final raised hand.

"I hear that the bite of a Jiang Shi can turn humans into a Jiang Shi... Is this true?" The same knowledge seeking young man from the week before had asked the question.

"...I don't knoooow..." I've never heard of that. Mama never mentioned everything I was capable of, as a Jiang Shi, so I only really did what came naturally.

Meiling spoke up, as she was aware. _"Temporary_ transformation. Was bitten by a Jiang Shi once, back in China. It effects everyone, and not just humans." Her eyes were slightly glazed over, as she was remembering her past. Flashbacks can be quite the draining activity for an older Youkai, such as Meiling.

"Hmm..." The young man had begun to take notes in a small, yet thick, book which was bound in leather. The location he was in the book looked to be about 1/3rd the way through the pages. He had a great deal of notes he had been taking on the subjects of this class, which seemed insane, as there really shouldn't be enough to fill that much space. On the cover of the small tome-like book was I, or 1, if one doesn't know of Roman numerals.

As he looked like he had another question, I waited for about a good thirty seconds, and pointed to his hand as soon as it shot back up.

"Could we have a demonstration?" I don't see why not... Though, I guess that's up to Keine.

I looked to Keine, who gave me a nod. With her approval, I began to speak once more. "...Sure, why noooot." At this, the young man had a grin on his face. He was a bit obsessed with recording all there is on Youkai, unbeknownst to any of those in the class.

Keine cleared her throat, before speaking in a teasingly sing-song voice. "Ohh, Daniel~" The boy had been shaking in his boots, as he knew it was coming, but his heart still jumped into his throat upon being called.

"Y-y-yes, Miss Kamishirasawa?" He tried his best to speak in a way that would let him out of yet again being bitten by a Youkai.

"Not gonna work, kid. Get up here, and take your punishment like a man!" Keine gave the boy a stern look, telling him that he needs to hurry his keister over to me. And hurry he did.

"...Now, thiiiis is got to hurt a loooot, so bear with meee..." Why lie? I'm sinking my teeth into his flesh, after all.

"I-I-I'm r-readdy...!" He was on the verge of tears at this point. He wasn't ready in the least, but he'd only make it worse by thinking so much about it, so I pretended not to notice.

In the blink of an eye, I sunk my teeth into the meat of his arm, triggering a loud yelp from the boy, while blood leaked from the wound only momentarily, but soon stopped. Soon after that, the boy's eye's rolled up, the color drained from his skin, and every single one of his teeth fell to the floor, leaving his mouth nothing but gums for a moment, before jagged thorn-like teeth began to force their way out of his now empty gum line.

However, he looked quite... dead. Well, that's actually true, in a sense. The only issue is... he wasn't getting up.

A/N2: My god, I've been distracted as of late... It didn't help that this chapter wasn't of particular interest, really. While I love Yoshika, and I love Jiang Shi... what am I supposed to come up with for them, really...? Not all of these are going to be easy, but _damn _that was hard!


	9. Vampire 101: Lesson 2 Part 2

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Been awhile since I last updated this one~ How about I fix that, hmm? On with the show!

Late night, Keine's classroom, Yoshika's PoV:

The room became deathly quiet, and just as still. This wasn't what I had expected at all!

After the longest, most silent moment of my... undeath, Keine spoke up, "Th-this is supposed to happen, right...?" She gave Meiling a particularly concerned look.

After thinking for a moment, Meiling said, "...I... I don't know. While I do know that I was turned into one for a time, I hardly remember it at all. It was all a blur, really." While she was speaking, Flandre hopped out of Meilings arms, and made her way to the unexpected corpse, and squinted at it. It was faint, but she saw the tiniest trace of an eye.

"Heeey, China!" Meiling flinched slightly at her nickname.

"...Yes, young Mistress?" It was obvious to most that she didn't particularly enjoy the name, but the childish innocence of Flandre didn't seem to notice this.

Reaching her palm to the corpse, she called the faint trace of an eye to her hand, and began to inspect it. With every second, it was growing larger. "I think he's getting ready to get up. His eye's back on, and slowly, ever so slowly, returning to... Well, normal _size _but not quite the same as before." Keine let out a sigh of relief. She wasn't sure what the Vampire meant by eye, but it sounded like she wouldn't need to change history. As such, she was as happy as a button.

While Keine was busy sighing with relief, and mentally jumping for joy, Meiling began to think aloud, "But... now that I think about it, I think I was covered in a great deal of blood when I finally came to my senses..." As if on queue, the eyes of the dead child began to slowly open. What where once brown were now a dull, greyish-brown.

With a happy grin, flan let go of his eye, and said, "Hi! It's good that you're feeli- Ahh!" She easily dodges the sudden lunge the once still child made for her neck, and then flapps her wings, avoiding a tackle with ease. I figured him to be hungry, while Flandre figured he was playing a bit.

By that time, all the children were beginning to panic, and were at the farthest part of the room. They didn't want to incur the wrath of Keine, so they stayed in the school. They were still more afraid of a headbutt, than the potential danger of this student turned Youkai

Once Flandre was out of the reach of the little Jiang Shi, he was still for a moment, save for pulling himself from the ground.

However, as soon as he was up, he began to quickly clear the distance between himself and the other children by way of hopping, but Meiling was prepared for this. The martial artist had run up behind him, used his shoulders to flip to the other side of him, and readied herself to strike, all in less than a blink of an eye.

Her finger was pulled back for a flick to the gut, which, once released, sent the child flying over the desks, and landing hard on the floor before keine.

He flew a good five metres. All from a flick.

In another burst of speed, she flipped through the air, landed beside the child, flipped him over, and pinned him into the ground with a single hand pressing him down by the back, while she began to get comfortable beside him. With the child on his stomach, and the threat of his barb-like teeth neutralized, everyone began to calm down, save for those who were calm the whole time. The only ones who were calm in the room were Flandre, Meiling, myself, and that odd book boy. While he _had_ retreated along with his fellow students, he was the only one of them that watched without fear, all the while writing in that book of his faster than many could read. Every tenth second, he would flip to the next page, and begin to write once more.

With the threat seemingly taken care of, we calmly went back to his seat in the front row, while the other children stayed where they were.

Daniel continuously tried to claw at Meiling, though was quite obviously not about to let up.

With the situation now under control, but still too out of control to conduct a lesson, Keine grabbed the egg timer, and twisted the time to 0, causing it to go off.

"Due to these unforseen circumstances, I'll be ending class early today. Class dismissed." She got up in a hurry, and began to shoo the children out the door, especially the one who was too enthralled by his note taking to even notice that class had ended.

With all the sane children out the door, she systematically locked every door in the room. "How long untill he returns to normal, Meiling?" She had a rather serious tone to her voice.

She thought about this for a moment, before saying, "Well... if I remember correctly, everything was a blur for about an hour. About an hour seems about right." She nodded to herself, still pinning the boy with her palm. He wasn't going to be getting out of this anytime soon, that's for sure.

A moment passed in silence, before Keine asked, "...And you're sure he'll turn back? I dislike having to change history when I don't have to..." Change history?

"...You can chaaaange history...?" I asked the question that I wasn't the only one thinking.

She gave a nod, and answered, "Yes, I'm a Were-Hakutaku; on the full moon, I can change history. Any other time, such as now, I can only eat the stuff. But, shh. Don't tell any of those in the human village. It's not easy to erase rumors, as I'd need to find the one who spread it."

The rest of the hour went by in silence, as nobody really had anything to add on the subject of Keine's secret, as they had no real reason to pry. That, and Flandre had fallen asleep on Meiling's lap, so she wasn't awake to ask fifty-million question. When bored, she tends to take naps; she actually slept her way through most of those 495 years that she was locked away in the basement, for lack of anything better to do.

Eventually, the boy began to stop his scratching in Meiling's direction, and his eyes returned to normal, followed by his heart once again resuming function. With his heart now active, his cool, pale skin began to return to a healthy color, but his jaws full of thorn-like teeth stayed the same. Now that he had regained his senses, he asked, "Wha... where am I...?" He looked about, wincing in pain over his aching gums, while he tried to figure out why they hurt as they did.

As nobody was answering, I answered his question myself. "...You weeeere a Jiang Shiiii. Yooou got beeetter." Meiling eased off of his back and scooped up Flandre into her arms, before getting up. She was a bit stiff, so she did a bit of stretching, while trying not to disturb Flandre.

With a look of his face he shouted, "N-no! Th-" As soon as he began to say the second statement, he had impaled his tongue on his new teeth. "Oowhh!" He began to panic a bit, while a good bit of blood spilled into his mouth, and some dripped onto the floor.

Keine kneeled to his height, and said, "Say ahh."

He complied, while still in a fair bit of pain. Upon seeing the inside of the boys mouth, Keine flinched. He still had the same sort of teeth as a Jiang Shi; he still had about 40 inwards curving thorn-like teeth which were much like those of a snake, but less like a hook. Easier to not get them stuck, as such.

"Ohh, dear..." Her words didn't bring him any particular comfort, but she grabbed the boy's jaw, and used her free hand to free his tounge.

It would seem that he was stuck like this, untill she could change his history. And then she began to think on that. But, if she changed the history, the lesson would become corrupted, and she'd have to change that too. After a long internal monologue about repercussions, punishment, and life-lessons, she had made up her mind.

She was going to leave him like this.

She couldn't change his history safely, as it would destabalize too many things, and she'd have to change many, many things to fix these problems. It would also be a good punishment for trying to escape twice, too.

Keine _is _a bit cruel with her punishments, after all.

Meiling whistled, impressed by his sharp, new teeth. "So _that's_ where I got teeth like that from... I had to yank 'em all out, so that they'd grow back as they normally would be. Ahh, that brings back memories..."

The boy gave a shudder at the thought of what that'd feel like.

"That gives me an idea!" The boy skittered away from Keine, as it sounded like she was about to suggest yanking out his teeth. "Ahh, no, not that. That'd only work if one is a Youkai." The boy sighed in relief, and his heart settled down. "My idea is for Yoshika here to teach you how to talk with those things, as you seem to be stuck with them." His sigh of relief quickly turned to a look of horror. He began to contemplate just how such teeth would effect his life.

Kissing would be dangerous. Doubly so for deep kisses.

Eating would be... interesting. Not particularly hard, but... interesting.

Brushing his teeth would be... how would that even work? The inside would be hard to reach, with how they hook.

I shrugged, and said, "...Weeell, if you saaay so. I guess I'll have to keep him from going for a tiiime. First off, the seeecret to not making hoooles in your tongue is to put your toooongue on the inside flaaaat of iit - not on the poooint, when going thhhhh." It was a rather obvious lesson, but he tried it.

"Thhh. I did it!" He grinned happily, exposing his inter-locking teeth made for not letting go. His grin would make for a good way to trick stupid Youkai, too, should he find himself about to be eaten.

I rose a finger, and immediately added, "...Second lessooon, try nooot to smile so biiiig. It scaaares people."

Immediately after hearing this, the boy closed his mouth.

Such things continued on for another hour, untill that sun had begun to gently color the sky, but not yet peak out from over the edge of the mountains to greet the world. In this time Daniel began to grow less afraid of Youkai, as one was now directly helping him with this new problem of his. Daniel went to his home in the village, and the three Youkai returning to the mansion by the lake.

Though, Yoshika still hit her head on the door-frame on the way out. At this rate, I'm going to need to reinforce that thing, as it's starting to crack a bit. The door frame. Not her head

Keine couldn't help but smile to herself a bit, when she closed the door behind them.


	10. Vampire 101: Lesson 3 Part 1

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Here, have a long planned chapter that I can finally make!

Early night, road to Keine's class, Meiling's PoV:

It felt odd to be headed to the human village with such an intention.

Suika's in the clouds.

..._Yuugi_'s underground, keeping the rest of the oni in check, as well as a good number of kappa who started living down there, too, of late. The kappa sure are more lively than one would expect, as the place as turned into party central, I hear.

Kasen's in hideing, pretending to be a hermit.

And the deva that's been missing for a long time is, well, still missing...

But I managed to bring an oni! Not a deva, but an oni, regardless!

I slid Keine's open, and walked in, greeted by a smiling Keine.

"Ahh, Meiling!" Keine looked behind me, expecting to see an oni.

"Hey, Keine." I had a grin on my face.

"I thought you said you'd bring an oni...? I have a class that needs teaching in only an hour...! What am I going to do, without an-" I placed a finger to her lips, silencing her panicked concerns. As I did that, the chains of the shackles on my wrist rattled, causing Keine's eyes to go wide.

"I brought one, just as I said I would..." I took off my hat, revealing a circular area of missing flesh, which went all the way to the bone. It was just past the brim of my hat, and in the upper middle of my forehead.

"...You... You're an oni?" I shook my head.

"I was, at one point, but that was long, long ago..." I smiled sadly.

"...no wonder you wanted to avoid this..." To Keine's statement, I could only nod.

"Yeah... I'm no longer an oni..." I put my hat back on, and sighed.

"I never would have expected you to be an oni..." Keine began to think on how she had seen me do things that most youkai aren't strong enough to, and yet how I never drank.

"Ohh, and I hope you don't mind, but I brought a boulder." I chuckled at the expression she made.

"And why exactly would you do _that_...?" Keine was clearly confused at my reasoning, which I had yet to state.

"Strength demonstration." I said as plain as day.

"...Ahh..." I grinned at her look of realisation. "That _would_ make sense, actually..." From being caught as off guard as she had been, she wasn't connecting the dots all that well at this point.

And with that out of the way, we began to wait.

And wait...

And... wait...

I eventually ended up asleep, as Sakuya would put it. However, I could react to my surroundings quite well, being that I was still quite awake.

"...Are you... asleep...?" Keine moved to touch my shoulder, to try shaking me awake, but I caught ner hand.

"In a way, yeah..." I had little to say, and let go of her hand.

I sat there in silence, making use of my manipulation of ki much like one might use a radar. Neither of us spoke for the rest of the hour before class, as neither of us had anything to say.

Eventually, my radar picked up on several small human, all of which seemed to be converging on this location.

And then, when all the humans had arived, all of whom being used to being around me by this point, and thus making no attempt to run, Keine stood.

She cleared her throat, and said, "Welcome to another class on youkai econogy, class. I hope you are all prepared for the test?" In response, every student's eyes went wide with fear. "Kidding, kidding. It was just a joke - as I've already said, there will be no grades for this class. Now, I hope you all remember Meiling, as she's the example for todays class on... Well, I'll let her say"

Keine sat back down, which was as good of an indicator for me to start as any, and so I opened my eyes.

Like Keine before me, I cleared my throat, and said, "Hello, class. I know that you know who I am, or atleast hope so, but my name is Hong Meiling, not China, and _very much so _not Kurenai Misuzu. And I..." I took off my hat, and finished my sentance. "...was once an oni."

The eyes of the children went wide at the sight of my horn spot, and a loud collective gasp was heard, as I look nothing like what they expected an oni to.

"Now, are there any question?" Every single hand rose at the revelation that I require questions to answer.

I pointed to specks, who asked, "What is that hole in your skin for?" Right to the point; I like this kid!

"Well, it's where my horn was. If any of you've heard of the Deva, Yuugi, than I'll have you know that she was once was human, and beat myself for it... This spot would be what marks me as an outcast among oni..." I my head drooped slightly, and I couldn't help but frown.

Half the hands lowered, and the young man asked, "What are the shackles for?"

I gave a shrug. "...That's a good question, actually... I guess it's just tradition...? Maybe they had some meaning in the distant past, but I don't know of it, if there even is one. Any more questions? You seem to be the smart one..."

"Meiling, don't say such things!" Keine furrowed her brows at my blatant lableing.

Unfazed by the rather nice nickname, the man asked, "Is it true that oni can't lie?"

I let out a chuckle, as that was one of the more prominant questions I expected.

"Not at all. That's a common misconception, as we never, or atleast very rarely, lie. It's not that we can't, it's just that we _don't_, and most of us aren't about to go against such a nice compliment. ...Though, there has been an... exception to this stereotype..." I let out a sigh, and prepared myself for the story I was to tell.

I cleared my throat once more, in preparation for the oni folk-tale I was to tell.

The tale of Kongara, the blood drenched oni.


	11. Vampire 101: Lesson 3 Part 2

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Quite honestly, I am not sure how this will turn out.

Y/N: Quite honestly, you want to be done with the oni/vampire section.

A/N: Shhh!

Y/N: Ufufu... Hit the nail on the head, did I~?

A/N: ...And stop making me sound so lazy!

Y/N: Changing the subject, are we? My, you do enjoy ignoring the truth, hmm?

A/N: Ahaha... W-well, let's get on with the show, shall we?

Y/N: Cowaaard~

* * *

Night, Keine's classroom, Meiling's PoV:

I cleared my throat of what felt like dust. Why did it feel as though I've been standing here, ready to tell this story for a long while now...? Well, best ask the question that I feel as though I've had months to formulate. "Now, do any of you know of the story of Kongara?"

Surprisingly, specks rose his hand, earning him a raised brow from both myself and Keine. Curious as to what he would say, I pointed to him.

In his rather nasally, nerdy voice, he asked, "I have read that he was both the strongest, and most evil of oni. He was called... the blood drenched hundred horn, if I'm not mistaken."

I let out a bit of a chuckle at that, and gave a nod. "That's right! He gained a hundred horns by force, and so was called the only truely, purely evil oni."

Keine rose a brow at how her student knew more than her on a subject, but I began to tell the tale before she could ask. "This story takes place ten thousand years ago, in one of the many planes of hells. Nobody knows exactly which hell it took place in, as such knowledge could prove dangerous."

Looking the children over, I found them all to be giving me their undivided attention. I do so love the honesty in the eyes of children..."Some say it to be in the old Hell of Blazing Fires, while others believe it to be in the Hell of Freezing Ice. However, those involved have never revealed every detail, perhaps for fear that someone with enough strength might free him. This story has been passed down for a half dozen generations, and I've never heard it from the source, but I'll tell you all I know."

While I spoke, the child that seemed to value brains far over brawns rappidly transcribed it into his book. "There once was a man named Kongara. He was a human like any other." At that revelation, all eyes in sight save for those of myself and specks went wide. "One day, he fought an oni, and won in a fight against it, through tricks. Of course the oni didn't know, but it is said that the man had cleverly cheated in a way that wasn't apparent, so as to give himself enough of an edge to win."

All around the room, the children frowned at the nerve of the man. It was so similar to when I was a child, funnily enough. They all seemed just as enamoured by my tale as I was by my grandfather's tale, once upon a time. "With his victory sealed, the oni gave the man his most valuable possession. He gave him his horn. I'm sure, had the oni known that the man had fried beans sewn into the fists of his gloves, he'd never have given it to him..."

I chuckled at the scarce booing at the children learning of that. If I closed my eyes, it was almost as if I were telling my own grand child this story. ...Not that I ever have had a kid. I was more interested in fighting, back in the day. "After that, he began to fight any oni he'd see! Never once did he lose one of those fights. Eventually he grew strong enough that he no longer had to fight them, and instead ripped the horns strait from their skulls, killing them instantly! This continued on untill he had a large, round number. He stopped at exactly one hundred horns, just for the sake of making a name for himself."

"Not long after, the four deva took notice of him. The Deva of Strength wanted to bash his head in for what he did, while the Deva of Wisdom wanted to find out why he did it. The Deva of Endurance wanted to put an end to the criminal's reign of terror, while the Deva of Skill wanted to show him that even with that he didn't stand a chance. They lured him to one of the many hells, and that was where they fought. The battle raged on for days, and all five of them eventually began to weaken from lack of sake. Just as the battle was starting to look grim for the four deva, their allies come to help. The leader of the Tengu, and the leader of the Kappa both joined forces with the four, and they gradually began to push him back, untill Kongrara somehow ripped an arm from the Deva of Wisdom, thus gaining the upper hand."

At the gasps from my audiance, I smiled once more, before finishing with, "After another day of unending violence, the ruler of that land had had enough. Chanting but a single spell, the devas, the Tengu, and the Kappa were all ousted. It's unknown what happened next, but they say that the screams of Kogara could be heard throughout every plane of hell. Soon noticing a lack in their numbers, the three remaining deva looked about, but simply couldn't find their fourth, no matter how long they looked... The Deva of Endurance is still missing to this day, they say. It's also said that he may have been able to resist the spell cast by the lord of that plane of hell, but nobody can say for certain."

Just as I finished the tale, the egg timer rang, signifying the end of class.

"Thank you Meiling, for that lovely story, as well as being so nice as to reveal yourself to us. Is there anything that you would like to say to the class before you go?" Keine gave me a smile.

I stroked my chin in though, before responding, "Oni aren't to be feared; so long as one shows us whatever respect we deserve, and one doesn't act like _too _much of a fool, one has nothing to fear of us at all. ...Well, so long as one doesn't agree to any bets, or drinking contests."

The teacher laughed nervously at my answer, and wished myself and the children farewell. She didn't want to say it, but I could tell that she wanted to add something to my warning. I'm sure she'll say it next class, if it's _that_ important.

From that point forward, I found myself being visited by particularly adventurous children. This continued for a number of months, untill they got bored of it, or perhaps recieved a headbutt as punnishment for leaving the village so wrecklessly.


	12. Eye 101: Locating a Specimen Part 1

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Ahh, back on this road again, hmm?

Y/N: Indeed... And here I was sure that you were getting ready to close the gap that leads to Keine's classes...

A/N: ...

Y/N: Ufufu, not even going to disagree with me on being myself this time? How dull..

A/N: So you finally admit to myself not being you?

Y/N: Ohh, I never said that, now did I?

A/N: Ugh...

* * *

Midnight, Entrance to the Underground, Keine's PoV:

This is a bad idea, but... I know that the subject of my next class live down here. It's dangerous, but for the sake of my students, there is little that I will not do. It's for the good of the village, and so I'll put myself on the line for this...

After finishing up with talking myself into entering the dank, dark, and rather scary looking cavern supposedly full of the worst youkai imaginable, I made my way in, dreading the lack of moonlight that such a place would entail; without the power of luna within me, even if my physical strength would go unaffected, my magical strength would sharply fall. The rays of the moon are unable to penetrate solid rock, if that weren't already quite obvious.

As I made my way down, the cavern gradually became steeper and steeper, untill it finally became a complete incline, going strait down into the darkness. I would fly, but... Well, that isn't one of my _physical_ abilities; I'm no bird, and trying to do so with my arms may earn me a photo in the bunbunmaru, while gaining me nothing. With that in mind, I simply looked into the abyss before me, noting that it did in fact _not_ look into me. With a sigh, I backed up, giving my self a bit of space from the hole.

With the burst of speed of a charging bull, I began to run forwards, before leaping for the other end of the tunnel, digging my fingers into the solid rock so as to prevent my fall. Ahh, the joys of this curse of sorts. Really, it's quite rare that I would call it a curse, as it's a gift in my eye. A gift from a very dear friend of mine, whom I miss dearly... I do wonder what Patchouli is up to these days. What wonderous magics has she mastered? What interesting things has she seen in the past century?

While I was busy with my thoughts, I kicked off from the rocky cavern, and repeated the process of digging my fingers into the solid rock of the other side. This continued a few more times, untill my glowing eyes gave a slight shine to something below. Looking down, I saw what seemed to be a net, but the fact that small animals were stuck to it told me otherwise; this was the work of either a very, _very_ large spider, or a youkai that matches that descripion. Calculating my trajectory, I kicked off from the wall, slipping between the silken lines of the web, and continuing on unhindered.

That was, untill this process was repeated again.

And again.

And again...

"...Just how many webs does one spider need...?" I can't imagine them being of much use in catching food past the first couple, and even then it seems odd to have more than one...

From below me, I heard the ever so slightly mature sounding voice of a young woman. "Ohh, these webs serve more purpose than _just _catching food, you know. They also do quite well for catching rocks, should they fall."

Blinking, I looked down. Below me was a young woman who I assumed to be the spider in question. "...I suppose that _does _make sense, but why would you care enough to defend against such a thing?"

Giving me a pout, the spider replied, "Ohh, so I'm not allowed to do nice things? One can become bored over the years of isolation, and there _are_ worse hobbies I could have chosen!"

"...Is that so?" In the distance, I could have sworn that I heard Rumia saying the answer to said line, but I ignored that. That girl sure does get around, doesn't she? With the afore mentioned ooze ignored, I went on to add, "Although, I'm rather in a hurry, so if you don't mind..."

Giving a quiet giggle, the spider replied, "Ohh, go right ahead! I'm not about... to..." I suddenly tensed up at being ripped from the wall by the spider, while a small child in a bucket went wizzing through the space in which I once held on to. "Dammit, Kisume... Erm, sorry about her... Anyways, watch your step, watch out for my next three webs, and look out above. You wouldn't want to end up with a cracked and/or missing skull, now would you?"

Gently freeing myself from the spider, I put my fingers back in the holes they had made. "Thank you for the warning. ...Although, would you know the way to... I believe it's called Chireiden?"

Giving my a slight grin, the spider gave a nod. "I know the way to many things within the underground! Want me to take you there?"

I gave a smile to the strange youkai, followed by a nod of my own. "That would be a great help! Thank you, miss...?"

"Kurodani Yamame. ...And don't call me Yama; I hate when people call me that..." She gave an annoyed sigh at what I assumed to be a common nickname that she had long since grown tired of. As if sensing my thoughts, she replied, "They call me that due to my power. Anyways, how about we talk about that on the way? I'll carry you so that you don't have to damage the stability of the tunnel anymore, alright? ...Plus, it'll be faster, too."

With my nod of consent given, six spider-like legs came out from under her dress, and she deftly flipped herself upside down, before grabbing me with her arms. Seeing as her use of her other six legs had caused the skirt of her dress to ride up, I gained a bit of un-needed knowledge.

That knowledge being that spiders don't seem to wear anything down below, perhaps due to it getting in the way of their silk glands. Best ignore this sight by way of closing my eyes... ...Although, now that I think about it, wouldn't she be one of the supposedly dangerous underground youkai? She hardly looks like a bad person, and in fact has thus far shown herself to be quite the opposite.

I shall have to make note of this girl, if ever I feel the need to hold a class on youkai invertebrates.


	13. Eye 101: Locating a Specimen Part 2

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

Y/N: My, you _do_ enjoy bursts of writing, hmm?

A/N: Well, what's part one without part two? I do try to avoid crumly cliff-hangers, after all.

Y/N: That was hardly one... In fact, that was more of a well secured cliff-hanging, if I do say so myself.

A/N: Shush! Without that reasoning, it would be awhile untill I next update this one.

Y/N: Furthermore, did you not leave them hanging quite badly with Meiling's story about Kongara?

A/N: Ahaha... I-I don't know what you're talking about!

Y/N: Hrmm... I think that you do.

A/N: N-no I don't.

Y/N: You're an obvious liar, you know.

A/N: ...Sorry.

A/N2: Ohh, and sorry for the lack of an update yesterday. Birthday and such.

Y/N2: And?

A/N2: A-and I was a bit busy playing my new games. ...On that note, I shall try to not do the same on christmas.

Y/N2: Good.

* * *

Early morning, Underground, Keine's PoV:

"...How much longer untill we make it out of these tunnels...?" Even at her far faster rate of descent than my own, we were still headed down and passing through the more and more occasional webs, which had become slightly rare by this point. How many hours has it been since I last had a breath of fresh air? The air down here is both musty and stale, and I have long since gotten used to seeing the groin of my transportation. ...Not that I had particularly gone out of my way to, but it's _right there_!

Letting out a groan, Yamame answered, "For the sixteenth time, we're headed towards the outskirts of old hell! Just how the hell deep would you expect it to be...?"

At her answer, I let out a sigh of my own. Had I known that this would take so long, I would have waited untill my day off! At this rate, just a round trip would make me late for class... Maybe I should just ask if we can head back... "Hey, as this is taking so l-"

Just as I began to speak, we suddenly jerk out of the way of yet another thing, while I hear another girl from far beneath us shouting something about being jealous. I hadn't seen it, but the spider had skillfully dodged a hammer being thrown at my head, although that would be the hardest part of my body to damage. What I _had _seen was a whirling object go flying past us at tramendous speeds, before vanishing into the darkness.

Below us a pair of emerald lights were glowing up at us, looking like a pair of intimidating specks from far below us. I wasn't sure if they were eyes, or what, but soon that was made even less clear by way of a storm of danmaku of a similar color.

Taking the less than expected route, Yamame shouted, "Hold on tight! Seems like the bridge princess envies us, for some reason..."

I blinked in confusion at the odd title. "Bridge... prin-?"

Making good on her warning, the spider lept from the wall, and began to free fall, causing my arms to tighten a great deal more than she had hoped for. "N-not so... tight!"

Behind us, a strand of web began to stretch, and stretch, untill it could stretch no more. To our front, we had somehow managed to dodge every single danmaku, before we landed lightly on a bridge. Knowing what was to happen next, Yamame grabbed onto the guard rail of the bridge so as to prevent flying back up. From between Yamame's legs I got a good look at the green-eyed girl, before said girl shouted, "I'm so jealous that you get to fall so slowly!"

With a sigh, Yamamae hand the girl the web, which she greedily took, catapulting her strait up into the air, and far, far out of sight. Blinking in confusion at the battle being over as soon as it had started, I asked, "...What just happened?"

Once more Yamame let out a sigh, before doing a hand-stand. Before I could ask why she was doing such a thing, a strand of web shot out of her rear-end, which she tugged at to make sure it was secure. Ignoring my question, she began to climb towards the ceiling of the much, much larger cavern that we found ourselfs within. Not to mention quite the grand little waterfall that was a few hundred metres to the side of the bridge, which supplied the bridge with a nice little river. Quite the hidden gem, even if that girl probably ruins it, judging my her title.

As we rose into the air, I saw the lights of a city in the distance. Just how big _is _this place...? This is looking less and less like a place to banish youkai to, and more like another world!

Looking up towards the ceiling of the cavern, my jaw just about dropped off. The entire thing was nothing but thousands of massive webs, all looking as though they were weaving together to make an almost purely white sheet. "...You made _all _of that?"

"Yep! I also made this second entrance to old hell." ...What does she mean by _second _entrance?

With a bit of a curious note to my voice, I asked, "...There's another entrance?"

Letting out yet another sigh, the spider replied, "Yeah, I made the one we were going through. The main entrance is a long walk, but not _nearly _as steep."

...Well, I feel like an idiot now! "You mean to tell me there's another way in...? One that is _much _easier to take...?"

Giving me a nod, although I couldn't see it from where I was, the spider answered, "Yep. And it's usually safer, too... Although, it's easy to lose your way."

I really need to research such things more, next time...


	14. Eye 101: Locating a Specimen Part 3

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N:Yes, yes, late... I know, I know. I have no excuse this time, so don't ask.

Y/N: My, Yukari... _You _of all people are not in the mood to make use of your silver tongue.

A/N: Ohh yes, because silver is _such_ a valuable mineral.

Y/N: ...I stand corrected. However, have you no other correction to make?

A/N: I am not in the mood.

Y/N: ...

A/N: ...

Y/N: Well, I suppose we shall get on with the show, hmm?

A/N: Indeed, we shall. I have no excuses for my lack of updates, but I will say sorry for that much. ...It would seem that I've reset my 2 week streak, too. What a joyous day, this is... I had thought I had finally pulled myself together, too... Back to distraction and/or depression I go, I suppose. But the true question is which one shall it be? Or is that a trick question? Or is there simply a need for there to be an "all of the above" option? Anywho, let's get on with the show, hmm? Ohh, and so as to encurage myself to complete the chapter in a single day, I'm wasting a bit of the 1k word req here.

Y/N: Clever girl...

A/N: Lazy, you mean.

Y/N: ...That too.

A/N: Plus, this one shall be shorter anywho, so this padding may be of use to me in the one promise to myself that I have yet to break...

Y/N: ...You're not me, so stop talking as if you are!

* * *

Early morning, Underground, Just outside of Chireiden, Keine's PoV:

"Thank you for that, Yamame." I gave the spider of the impressive web a short wave, while she began to climb up the strand of thick silk she had used to descend from. It had taken her an hour to carry me across her massive web, and it had apparently taken us all the way from the end of the main cavern, to the palace in which I seek.

While her six extra legs did all the climbing, she waved back, not even paying attention to her climbing. "Just pull on the end of my trap line, and I'll come get you when you're ready to return, okay!" She gave me a wide grin, showing me that she was joking about it being a trap, not to mention an interesting detail about her teeth. I may be no tengu, but I could tell that she seemed to only have sixteen teeth in all, all of which human-like. I shall have to inquire about that, when she comes to my class on such youkai... I _could _ask on the way back, but that would surely ruin the surprise, not to mention then require repeating before the class.

Turning to the great pair of western-style doors on the ancient-looking stone palace, I began to make my approach. Just stay calm, and hope that the one you seek isn't a horrible, cruel person, Keine... You can do this- No, you _must _do this.

With my pep talk out of the way yet again, I tried to tug the knocker, so as to call someone to the door, but I found it to instead be far heavier than I had expected. What's the point of such a thing if it's _that _heavy...? Giving up on that, I began to shortly rap on the heavy door, before waiting to be met. Surprisingly, it wasn't from the front that I was greeted, but instead from behind.

"Ahh, who're you?" From behind me, I heard a mature yet childish voice, even if that was a bit contradictory. As I spun around to see who it was, my eyes locked-on to the breasts of the beast.

While my jaw figuratively fell off, fell through the world, gravitated back around, and hit my on the top of the head, I stammered out, "A-are those... _real_?"

Tilting her head at the question, the hell raven asked, "Unyuu? Are what real...?"

While my jaw was still residing between my horns, I simply pointed silently to the massive mammaries that defied gravity, before me.

She blinked twice in confusion, before her eyes eventually lit up with realization at what I was asking, which soon brought more confusion to her face than before. "Unyuu...? Of course Okuu's boobies are real!"

With my eyes still fixed upon the orbs each large enough to fit a curled up woman within, I heard a mono-tone, childish voice from behind me. "No, we do not know of the method to aquire such 'rediculous breasts,' nor would I condone any attempts to _steal _them."

Once more I spun around, and found myself before the one in which I had come here to meet. As I opened my mouth to greet her, she cut me off by way of saying, "You need not speak; I know you know what I am capable of, and so I humbly request that you merely think throughout our 'conversation,' if it can be called that. And yes, I _will _cut you off at every chance if you decline; I see no point in wasting my time. No, I am not busy, but I would preffer that this be kept short, not to mention that you would benefit. Yes, you may speak to Okuu if need be, but she is being quiet as of this moment. I'm glad you are so willing to allow me to speak with you in such a manner; few humans have allowed me to do such a thing, hakutaku. Yes, I _do _know your secret, miss Kamishirasawa. I know what _everyone _wants to keep hidden. And no, I shall not mention it when in the company of those that will actually remember, obviously. I already am hated for things that are not my fault, so why would I wish to become hated for things that _are_? ...That was rhetorical. ...Please stop patting my head, for I am no child; I am instead... frozen in time, physically. Yes, I shall indeed tell your class of the why, for you are incapable of informing of this. And yes, that _does _mean that I shall come to this class of yours. Ohh, obviously I have my own agenda. What youkai of over one-hundred years _doesn't_? No, it does not involve harm to the children, so to speak. It is merely a proposition, not that I will answer _that _question as of now. How can you trust me on that? Besides the fact that I am _telling _you that I have these plans? Why, that is _quite_ simple, miss Kamishirasawa."

Smiling ever so slightly, the satori spoke in the exact same tone as ever, her eyes looking weary of me. "You can't."


	15. Eye 101: Lesson 1

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

C/N: No.

A/N: C'mon, please...?

C/N: No!

A/N: Why...?

C/N: For the ninth time, just because Usa is you doesn't mean that you're Usa!

A/N: B-but...

C/N: W-Wha...?!

A/N: M-Master, did I do something wrong...?

C/N: Gyaa! Don't talk like Usa! Fine, fine! I give! Just stop making me feel bad by making yourself sound like Usa!

A/N: Mmm...

C/N: ...You're too warm...

A/N: Well, I can't help that...

C/N: Okay, that's enough! Stop hugging me already, or I'll freeze you to a wall, not-Usa!

A/N: Aww... Fiiiine...

Y/N: ...If you two are done cuddling, we _do _have a show to get on with...

A/N: Ahh! R-right, on with the show!

* * *

Night, Just outside of Keine's classroom, Satori's PoV:

With the last concious child within the village within the building, I readied myself to jump down, but saw something which gave me reason to wait. A young man with a bowlcut, a pair of coke bottle glasses, and most importantly, a _mental_ _barrier, _was making his way into the class. Interesting... Very interesting, indeed... ...But I have a more important reason to be here than to play detective, or to be more exact, I have no reason at all to look into that. I have grown used to being unable to read minds after all, what with what my sister did to herself.

With my fair share of internal monologue out of the way, I stepped out from the shadows I had cloaked myself in, and made for the class room. Best get my role out of the way, and as such give myself time to read the minds of every last child. Once that business is done, I can take care of my own. Ahh, how I look forward to that.

Making my way to the eastern-style door, I slid it open, causing the heads of them all to turn to me. Keine, not knowing who I was, asked, "Ehh? ...Who are-?"

Repeating the routine from the other day, I cut her off in my usual monotone voice. "You already know me, do you not, miss Kamishirasawa? I'm the satori in which you requested detail all of her weaknesses for your odd little class. Yes, that _is _basically what your class amounts to."

Blinking twice, she asked, "...But didn't you have pink hair, and have that odd eye?"

"...Right. I'll change back, in that case; I was merely in my other form so as to easily infiltra- ..._E__nter _the village." With that said, I allowed my eye to rise out of my skin, and passed through my clothes. My hazle hair quickly began to gain a red tinge, and the color began to change within every follicle, untill it matched the pink in which she remembered me by. At the same time my chocolate irises joined my hair in shifting to the light red that she remembered them to be, bringing me quite in line with her memory. "There, is that better? Good. Now, where to begin..." Seeing the one with the mental barrier raise a hand, I pointed to him. There were others raising their hand, but he was the only one that required me asking. Best find out what the one I cannot read is thinking, so as to simply rule out what others can be ignored.

Lowering his hand, and adjusting the glasses in which I reffered to him by, glasses asked, "How is it that your eye work, in as much detail as you are willing to reveal to me?"

I let out a slight chuckle at the question, and how the way they said it; even without being able to read my mind, they already knew that it was likely that I would be unwilling to reveal all there is to me. Answering the question on Keine's mind, and nearly her lip, I said, "No, Kamishirosawa, I will continue to reffer to him by the same method that the red-white and black-white are regularly called. And as for your question, mister Glasses, It's very simple, really." Grabbing my third eye, and went on to add, "The nerves for sight are within the arterial sheath headed to my little noggin, and the other five are for blood-flow; this third eye of mine would have a feature quite like that of the heart beating within the chest of... the majority of humans and youkai. I am sure many have no hearts, such as animate objects, and spirit- Right, I shall stay on topic, miss Kamishirosawa. As one might imagine, just like with the heart within your chest, the removal of all five of the blood-filled arteries would kill me. However, so long as one remains, I would be fine. On the other hand, the nerve bundle, while less lethal per se, would still likely kill me. I shall go deeper into that later, in a sense."

With the hard question-asker out of the way, I began to answer the remainder of the questions floating about the room. "Yes, my third eye never blinks. The reason for this is because to close it, or otherwise blind it, would disconnect me from my concious mind. No, I am not ten; I'm merely physically frozen at that age, due to reasons I shall go into soon enough. Yes, you may see my underwear, and no I shall refrain from giving them to you; I only have so many pairs." With that said, I lifted my skirt, earning me many noisy thoughts from the children about how the color white suits me, not that I would agree. I merely choose white due to being able to remove stains from the with ease, not that that is of any issue the vast majority of the time.

Resuming my answering, I began to point to children, and answering their questions as I did. "No, I am not a flasher. I was _requested _to show them, and so I did. Yes, my fingers are as sharp as they look, even without having any finger nails anymore. Yes, I once possessed the annoying things. More on that later. Yes, you can see the way my teeth look, miss Kamishirasawa." Turning my head, I slightly opened my mouth, and pulled back lips, revealing a set of about one hundred small, sharp, and jagged teeth. I have never bothered to count them, for I have better things to do, so I merely estimate them at that number. Plus, it would be easy to lose my place in doing as such. Turning my head in the direction of the children thinking about wanting to see as well, the majority of them jumped at the supposedly scary sight. There are far scarier things in this world than my teeth, and many of them I have had the displeasure to run into. ...Such as an oni in heat. Just thinking about the subject sends a shiver down my spine...

"...And yes, you may touch them, but that is unwise. No, I have no plan to bite off your fingers as you violate my mouth with them, but that doesn't make it any more wise." With the permission given, the expectedly large number of children about my height and above made their way over to me and began to poke at my teeth. A few of them earned a small prick on their finger for underestimating them, but I did indeed keep my word, as I had already planned to. Had I not, I obviously would have gone against my word. ...Not that I desire more than _knowing_ that many youkai adore the flavor of humans. I would rather not taste it, myself, for obvious reasons.

With every student done poking at me, and a number of them thinking about how cute I am much to my displeasure, I moved on to the reason I came here. "And now for the final portion of this lesson, I shall be telling you information that is quite useful to know, in a sense." Seeing the one in glasses ready his pen, I let out a chuckle, before saying, "Satori are actually a form of symbiotic parasite." Pulling out one of my arteries, and removing the gold heart-shaped clasp, I revealed what looked to be a syringe. "Once upon a time, I was human, just like you. One day, when I was as young as many of you are, a satori that looked a few years older than me came to me. She asked me if I wanted to read mind, gain strength beyond what is possible of a human, and stay youthful for the entire duration of my life. Obviously, I accepted. ...Although, I do wish that she had warned me that I would never finish puberty, and thus remain this size for that same amount of time. Yes, it is a bit of a blessed curse in a sense, but you know what? ...Yes, I realize that you do not. ...Even knowing all that I do _now_, I still would have accepted back _then_."

Letting a rare smile touch my lips, I countinued my one-sided conversation. "I have met many interesting people in the past two hundred thirty-seven years. My sister and I have gained few friends, and even were banished to the underground merely for existing, but still... I for one do enjoy being what I am. I won't say that I don't hate the thought of being needlessly hated by the dishonest, but when I live among the honest... I feel quite at home. The oni do know well how to deal with satori." A slight grin began to show that I do indeed have emotions, even I regularly ignore them. "They treat us like _people_, like so few do. Oni and animals have been the only things that I have met thus far that don't mind us at all. It's wonderful... But it does make me wish that others wouldn't mind that I can't not read a mind..." With that said, my smile began to fade away, untill I had returned to my usual neutral expression. "And so, with all of this known, I will give this one last bit of information."

I gave them all a once over, before saying, "Should I stab another human in their heart with one of my four spare arterial needles, they too will become a satori. A daughter of mine, to be exact. That's right. There is no such thing as a male satori, as far as I was told by my second mother. And with my thinly veiled offer given, I'll now leave you all to your devices. Enjoy your short lives, humans. I shall go and enjoy the rest of my potential eternity. Farewell, miss Kamishirasawa, and thank you for giving me this oportunity." Leaving with a slight chuckle, I turned back into my human-looking form.

And now to go and find a nice, dark tree, and hide in wait. There were a few promising ones within the bunch... Maybe I'll be able to gain a second or maybe even a _third_ daughter from this. That would be wonderful...

My daughter would be ever so happy to have sisters.


	16. Eye 101: Lesson 2

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Dang it! Forgot to save my partially completed author argument!

Y/N: Shall we resume?

A/N: Yes... Ahem... My, it sure has been some time since I gave this story some love, hasn't it? 2 months, about.

Y/N: Ohh, you're just being your regular lazy self, are you not?

A/N: No! I have a perfectly good reason at the time!

Y/N: Do tell.

A/N: Well, I was planning on waiting untill the second game's story was completed, but then I decided to expand on it beyond simply the encounters. There's a story that needs love, happening in the background. A sad story, of Rika's fate... And yes, it's as bad as it sounds from the way I phrased it. I won't spoil that any farther, however.

Y/N: Ahh, yes... Rika. Poor dear-

A/N: Shh!

Y/N: Mph- Get your hands off of my mouth! Jeez...

A/N: Sorry, sorry. Anyways, with all that said, how about we get on with the show?

* * *

Late night, roof of Keine's Class, Satori's PoV:

Just a little while longer, and the class shall end. Well, if nothing comes... up...

I narrowed my eyes, and looked to the distance, the three of them all glowing a faint pink. I know that signature of thought... Something evil this way comes.

With that in mind, I leapt from the roof, I began to fly at my top speeds towards the source of the powerful thoughts. I knew this feeling well...

It's an evil eye! Even if something seems... _off _about the thoughts themselfs, it's definitely an evil eye... What sort of evil eye is brave enough to approach a satori such as myself? It doesn't feel like a particularly strong one, so what is it hopes to accomplish? It was still a greater evil eye, however. Precautions must be taken to ensure the human population take our side, instead of add mass to the thankfully small infestation this land contains. By my estimates there are only sixteen of the monters, give or take.

With the suprisingly small evil eye now in sight, I noticed a few strange features about it. It was rather small, to the point that it looked like your average freshly spawned eye. The other key feature was the greek symbol on it; I was ignorant as to what it meant, save for the fact that it was greek. It looked branded into the flesh of the monster. "Halt, monster! The satori have claim over the populace of this village! Leave now, and you shall go unharmed. Your breatheren shall not be rooted out once and for all, and I shall continue to leave you all alone. But if you do not atleast stop, I shall be sure to end you quite thoroughly."

While my three eyes were locked on the vaguely surprised evil eye, the eye seemed to care enough to atleast stop its pursuit of locating... Ehh? That isn't what I expected at all... As I was about to demand answers, it began to intrude upon my own thoughts. **_I wish no harm to, nor do I intend to steal from your flock; I merely wish to answer the call for knowledge that the bovine teacher is giving off._**

What?! It has the power to do as we do?! "What?! There is no way that I can allow you to enter that class alone!"

**_...Enter along side me, and your fears shall be put to rest. It is not as if I am able to impregnate a human as fast as you satori can muster. We do not have our organs on the ourside, as you do._**As the eye continued to stare at me with its ever unblinking eye, I couldn't help but blush a bit. It somehow knew how embarassing we find our bare tendrils, and why we dress them in these heart clasps, not to mention why I wear these sheer yellow artery warmers of silk. ...Plus, spider silk feels so nice upon one's- best end that thought proccess, as I seem to be hearable by said eye.

"...Fine, that is a fine enough compromise. I shall accompany you to the class, and I shall give them a propper warning of your ways.

**_This is within the acceptable range of conditions. Lead the way, satori. _**At how calm it was, I couldn't help but raise a brow; normally evil eyes found myself to be quite terrifying. ...Although, normally evil eyes are unable to read my intentions.

With that out of the way, I led the eye towards the room filled with a great many potential children, some of which thinking about the prospect with near certainty.

When we finally arrived, and I slid the door open, the class and teacher all looked to the sudden intrusion. "Hello once more, humans. Yes, I too am surprised that I have returned; I had not expected to do as such, but I am now shaperone to this here evil eye. Yes, the name is quite apt, in all cases I have see-" As I was about to badmouth the evil eye, it chose now to intrude upon our minds.

**_No, I am one of many that break that mold; I have no wish to force you to become a part of my clutch. There is no need for alarm, teacher. I am here strictly to convey warnings and information on my species. For one, we have 'arteries' of sorts, much like the ones that the satori needlessly expose. On that note, I shall also give information on the satori that has not been given already._**...Crap, it might blow my chance if any of the things are particularly bad... **_For one, a satori is able to hide amongst humans, and one will likely not even notice them._**...Ohh. That... that might actually lend help to my case.

_**A satori can quite easily hide amongst humans, as such.. They are just about able to revert back to how they looked as a human, and so any of you that were to take her up on her offer could easily return to your lives if only you go 'missing' for a week. Now, with that said, I shall get back to my own kind. Evil eyes are a highly dangerous species, as we steal the hearts of humans so as to reproduce. No, I have no plans of doing as such, and no desire to. Yes, I am special, as are many of the seventeen of we greater evil eyes. The symbol on my body is my name; I am the first, and so I am marked with Alpha. All but Omega have been created by our mother. She wishes to create the perfect weapon. The perfect evil eye. Thus far Sigma was the most successful, while Upsilon was... disasterous. No, I do not wish to speak of it. I and many of my bretheren were artificially created, and so are biomechanical in a sense. My heart is a machine, and it allows for basic programing.**_

How strange... Before any mental silence could set in, the eye made its request, which seemed to be its primary goal. **_Might I be allowed to sleep here? I have finished, but I have nowhere to stay. Yes, a cage would be a fine enough place to say, miss bovine. Ohh, my appologies. So I can stay? Thank you very much._**

As my part seemed to be over, and the eye had even gone so far as to help me, I made my way out of the classroom, while Keine began to see off the children.

It would seem that I may have four children to make go 'missing' tonight~


	17. Eye 101: End

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Ohh gods do I feel horrible... Thankfully my typing hand feels fine! Every joint in my right arm is on fire, my usual light sensitivity has sky-rocketed, my nose is running, my throat is on fire, and I feel generally terrible.

Y/N: And yet still you write?

A/N: And yet still I write.

Y/N: And yet still you write... Why?

A/N: Why, indeed...

Y/N: You know, I could always fix you up~

A/N: Please... Do it...

Y/N: My only condition is that you climb something over one-hundred metres in height~

A/N: ...Fu-

Y/N: Ah, ah, ah~ Do you wish to become one of those who lives in a glass house?

A/N: ...Literally, or figuratively? I can never be too sure with you...

Y/N: Why not both~? You do so enjoy calling out authors on exccessive swearing, do you not?

A/N: ...I think? My heads swimming a bit right now...

Y/N: You do~

A/N: I... see. And your point?

Y/N: You would be a hypocrit, should you start doing it yourself. I will not allow such a thing, even if means I have to put a gag in your mouth, and punish you.

Y/N: Did I hear something about punishment, and gags~?

A/N: C'mon guys, stop both being Y/N!

Yu/N: Fiiiine...

Yuu/N: I feel like one of those yukkuri creatures, when I'm listed as such...

Au/N: Well, I can't really he- Okay, who made me sound like something Suwako would say?

Uu~ uu~/N: Ufufu... I had many extra U's, so I felt the need to add more.

Uu~ uu~/N: ...Of course it'd be Remilia.

* * *

Aoi's PoV:

Ohh, I can't stop grinning at how adorable that third eye was! I want one, I want one, I want ooone...!

As I walked the short distance home, I eventually took a shortcut through an alley, and bumped into someone. "Like, I'm so sorry! I totally didn't see you there!"

Getting up, and dusting herself up, the little girl asked, "You would like an eye like mine, correct? You needn't answer, for I already know your answer. However, there are some thing we each do not seem to know. Answer me this question... Do you realize how painfull it would be to have your heart burst through your ribs? That is what I expected. In that case, farewell."

I couldn't help but cringe at the thought of all that pain, as I watch her walk off.

* * *

Kyle's PoV:

I wonder if what that nice youkai said was true? Would I really become a girl if I accept...? Eheh... That sounds like such a fairytail...

As I snuck down the path, hoping to make it home without being spotted, I eventually passed an alley that seemed to be calling out to me. Literally. "Taaabithaa~"

I flinched at hearing that name. Who would know that name? I've never told _anyone _that I want to be reffered to as Tabitha! As I backed up, and looked into the alley, I saw something that made my eyes widen. Three pink glowing irises, and they were all trained on me. They make me feel so... At peace... _loved_... I just want to... to walk into this alley, and... and...

Wait, when did I walk into this dark... place... I looked a little below my line of sight, and saw a pair of pink eyes looking up at me, and glowing far less than they had before, not that I remembered that. However, now that I was so close, I noticed that they were glowing just enough to illuminate her face. Her face had a motherly smile on it, and I couldn't help but want to hug her a bit.

Before I knew it, I had a pair of small yetstrong arms wrapped around my waist. "I know, Tabitha... You've had a tough time, with a father like yours. I'm surprized that you're as normal as you are, really, with how you've been treated... When you came out to him, he simply scoffed at you, and called you... a rather unpleasant word. After that, he began to beat you fairly often, and yet you never told anyone." The calm, knowing words of the woman one-by-one brought up everything she was impressed with, scolded me on the occasional thing, and finally gave me a proposition. "Instead of being a supposed failure of a son to a father that doesn't truely seem to want you, why not be the daughter to the satori who will cherish you?"

...Wait, satori? Where have heart that befo- ...I see, she must have read all that from my mind... Well, I have to grab some things first, so I'll make an excuse... "...I need time to think abou- ...Why are you laughing?"

The satori gave me an amused smile, which I just barely could make out in the low light, and replied, "You do realize that such untruthful things don't work on my kind, correct?

Ohh... I should have really seen that coming, huh? "R-right... Give me a day, and I'll be ready..."

With that said, I made my way back home, happy that my torturous existance was finally nearly at an end. I would soon be free of him! I would soon be able to be _me_!

I was so happy that I skipped the rest of the way home.

* * *

Satori's PoV:

...No, these last two wont do at all; they just wish to become satori for the power. I had though that that was a side-thought, as they were thinking about being loved, but that was obviously false. On closer inspection, they merely wanted to gain power, and use said power to rule the village with an iron fist. I have the right mind to simply toss them into the woods for doing that, but I cannot risk it. I don't wish to end up like my second mother... I have no idea how it is that they managed to think about something untrue as if it were true, but they did. I must simply accept this, and move on.

Now, all I must do is figure out how it is that my sister manages to stay invisible. If I can immitate that, waiting shall be very much so easier.

* * *

The next night, Satori's PoV:

Never... Again... I nearly lost myself to the subconcious! Jeez, I never knew that it was so _easy_! Even just a blink of my eye nearly did it...

Ahh, he's here. "Hello once more, Tabitha." Heh, calling hi- her by that name really makes hi- _her_ happy, doesn't it?

"Miss Satori? You look so... Ahh, I remember now. This is what you looked like as a human, isn't it? I like your hair... It's very pretty." I couldn't help but thank the darkness for hiding my blush quite well. I'm a bit weak to compliments, what with how we've been treated over the years. Honest compliments are... they would be my weekness.

I chuckled a bit, and replied, "You know, you needn't call me such a thing. Within a week, you shall be my child, you know..."

Heh, that really took him aback... "A-alright... M-m-mom...?"

At her embarassment, and heart swelling with affection, I couldn't help but hug her a bit tightly. After a moment, I found her returning the hug. "...We should get going. There is only so much time in the night, and we must atleast leave before the earlybirds aquire their worms. I'll carry the bags, okay?"

"Alright, m-mama..." I let out a happy little sigh at being called that by my soon-to-be child.

With everything said and done, Tabby and I made our way out into the wilds. I just hope that the phoenix is busy, lest she find us.

That might be _disasterous_...


	18. Fae 101: Summer Aquisition

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Starting to feel better, but I'm still quite feeble feeling. My strength has recovered a fair bit, but I feel almost narcoleptic, and my endurance is at 40-60%.

Y/N: You've been doing better though, and that's what's important.

A/N: Thanks, Yamame... Being told that makes me feel a little better.

Y/N: You're very welcome. I do try to put a smile on every face I can see. Now, if you don't mind, may I help myself to some more sickness?

A/N: Yes, that'd be fi- ouch! J-jeez, be careful with your mandibles, there...

Y/N: Soweh, ah cahn't helh ih...

A/N: I know, I know... Anywho, let's get on with the show, while I recieve treatment.

* * *

Afternoon, Chireiden, Orin's PoV:

Making my way towards the throne room, my wheel barrel left behind due to being unneeded, I eventually stopped and knocked at the grand doors. From within my own mind, I heard the voice of my master call out, **_You may enter, Orin. _**With permission given, I turned the golden knob, and made my way in, my bare feet padding across one of the few carpeted areas of floor outside of our rooms.

As I reached a good point to stop, I got down on one knee, and began to kneel. "Yes, Master? What is it that you need from me...?"

From within her own mouth this time, the sister of my true master replied, "I have a request of you. The human that visited the other week indirectly assisted us in gaining a third child, and has a class she could use help with. Within her mind, I saw that she was in need of a fae of each element. Seeing as we possess one of the few supplies of summer fae, I would like for you to send one to her class in 5 days- I wish for her to arrive on the 6th, you see. I shall implant the knowledge required into her head, so send her to me before you send her off."

I couldn't help but raise a brow at the order, and ask, "Ehh? You would like for me to send a zombie fairy above ground? Would that really be wise, though...? They _do_ have a tendancy to set fire to things..."

"Yes, but-" For a moment, Master was silent, before she began to smile. "...Nevermind. You may go, Orin."

I rose a brow, but gave a nod, and answered, "Yes, Master."

With my summons over with, I made my way out into the great hall, and resumed my duties of carting corpses I somehow manage to find. I have no idea why corpses are always just laying around, really...

Satori's PoV:

As the door shut, my three eyes turned to one of the side-entrances to the throne room. "Now, you wished to speak, Achi?"

The fae of particularly powerfully burning wings bowed, and gave a nod. "That is right, Satori. You wish to send a summer fae to the surface world, and I wish to see the surface again after the past century of being down here." I see... Hrm, but... "Yes, yes, don't look at me like that, Mistress. I do have a small wish to see someone I have a bone to pick with, but I have no intention of fufilling that wish, as you would already know. So, may I do as we both wish, minus my lesser wish?"

I nodded my concent to the idea, and replied, "You may leave an extra day early if you need it."

"Thank you, Mistress Satori." _I shall pack for the trip right away. _Well, atleast she intends to do as she has stated...

I gave a nod once more, and added, "You may be dismissed."

* * *

Later that week, Night, Keine's classroom, Keine's PoV:

As I sat at my desk, tapping the butt of my pen on my chin in thought, the cool night air wafted in through the open door. I let out a sigh, and asked nobody in particular, "What am I to do...? I haven't a clue as to where I can find both a summer and autumn fae..."

From the open door, a youthful voice offered, "I could be of assistance in finding both the former and latter." When I turned my head to the source, she was gone. From the opposite side, and quite a bit nearer, I heard a voice speaking directly into my ear. At the same time, a burning hot arm snaked around my neck, causing me to be glad that I'm a youkai. If not, the light burns would scar for some time... "Indeed, I could be your subject, and obtain for you an autumn fae. What say you?"

I jumped at how hot her breath felt, adding up to enough to be sure that she was what she implied. But first, let's address the more pressing matter. "Could you please release me? It hurts to stay in contact with you..." The fae thankfully complied, and released me, just as I had hoped she would. As I rubbed my quickly regenerating flesh, I added, "Yes, it would be fine. ...Honestly, I had no idea what it is that I would do, so you're a life saver."

"Lady Satori sent me to be of assistance to you, so I shall do my very best to do such a thing. Of course, the more difficult forms of fae to aquire would be an arcane fae, and a space-faring fae. The latter typically living in space." Wait, so Satori sent her? I have to get some information out of her...

After a moments pause, I asked, "Satori? ...Tell me, was she the reason that Kyle ran away? He left a note that he was leaving the village, but he didn't say why..."

Giving a nod, the fae replied, "Yes. Although, I was told that the note said not to worry, and that his new mother would take care of him. In fact, he is in better care now, as opposed to that abusive father of his."

I let out a gasp of shock at finding that he was being abused. "W-what? Why didn't he... ever bring this up? I had always wondered, but as he always had an excuse that was rather normal, I never expected that I was _right_ in my suspicion... I shall see to it that he is brought to justice. ...Erm, the father, not the run away... On the subject of the boy, how is he?"

"He is... better. Happy that his body is changing to that of a young woman. ...Ahh, I see... So, you didn't know that either? He had apparently never felt at home in his body, you see. That was actually the driving motivator in why he is nearly a full fledged satori already. He's nowhere near fully being a woman, but within a few months he should be. On the other hand, his eye is getting ready to burst from him. And no, I can't read minds. I mearly read your face, that is all.

After all the beans were on the floor, there was a rather long silence, and I couldn't help but scold myself a bit. I should have known...


	19. Fae 101: Autumn Aquisition

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Now that Achi has been introduced, how about we move on to stage two of my master plan?

Y/N: That being?

A/N: The same thing it is every night, Yamame. I will try to show off my various ideas!

Y/N: I see...

A/N: ...Now that I think about it, whatever happened to Yukari?

Y/N: Ohh, she's a little tied up at the moment.

A/N: ...Did you tie her up?

Y/N: E-erm... Aha, how about I treat you, now?

A/N: Oww! Hey, answer the- Gya, stop...!

Y/N: Mmm... Tasty~

* * *

Early night, Path from the Human Village, Achi's PoV:

As I padded along the smooth dirt road, headed towards Youkai Mountain, and the gentle breeze blowing my firy red hair, I looked to the sky, and all the little fires in it. With a small smile, I said to no one in particular, "The stars are just how I remember them... I'm... I'm glad that something hasn't changed since we were imprisoned..."

As I walked, I eventually passed the one apparent mountain, ignoring it in favor of my target in the distance. What might be considered behind the great Youkai Mountain were the mountains that were my destination, which was where the dangerous fae of Autumn reside. The only ones easily able to locate them would be another fae, of any element, such as myself. Or the space, or the arcane fae. They could locate them just as well.

Eventually I reached the mountains in the distance, and began to float up the mountain, flitting my wings to give me a speedy climb. As I flitted over the craggy surface, I noticed the tell-tale signs of autumn fae. That being hand-shaped holes in the not-so-great kindling, where they drained away the life. If I couldn't simply see their very being a short distance away, I would say that I was getting close.

When finally I arived at their little home of dead leaves, and decicated bushes, I called out, "Hey, I need a fae for something!" At first the beings within the cave of dead things were still, but soon they came swarming to the entrace, in order to see who wanted them.

When the heads started to pop out, their various expressions betrayed how they were thinking. While a healthy number looked worried for me, a good half looked to be considering me food. The rest were more the average fae, who would be idiots. I would be interested in the worried ones, as that means they would be smart enough not to drain everything they come in contact with.

As one of the hungry ones came to hug me, I dodged out of the way by way of flipping back into the air, and put a bit of distance between us. "Hey, no eating me, idiot. I'm not here to see you hungry ones... I want to talk to..." I pointed to one of the more worried looking. "You. You shall do."

Blinking in confusion, the one asked, "Me...? Why, what do you want of me...?"

I couldn't help but grin a bit at the cuteness of the young fae. "Why, all I need is your time, as of right now. Should you accept, I shall need you to come with me, and talk of your kind. You could use that oportunity to warn human children to avoid you all, even."

Tilting her head to the side, she asked, "Is that all you wish of me...? Just for me to talk to humans?"

"Not as if I'm here to shower you with affection. I'm no idio-" As the one from before embraced me from behind, and started to suck the life right out of me, I let my wings take their full glory, and set fire to the fae. As she ran around, trying in vain to put out the flames, and failing quite well at it, I couldn't help but grin a bit viciously at her. That's what you get, when you try to eat something too spicy for you... Looking back to the group of fae, I searched a little through the various levels of pixiedom, and eventually found the fairy I was speaking to. "Now, as I was saying before I was so _rudely _interrupted, I merely wish for you to come with me for now, and we can chat this over on the way."

Nodding, the one truely innocent fae in our midst said, "Alright... Yeah, I'd be fine with that."

While the flaming true pixie continued to run about in panic behind me, I motioned for the cute little fairy to come with me, the little cutie complying, coming just as I had commanded. As we left, I allowed the pixie that threatened to be consumed by my flames to be put out. I also couldn't help chuckling a bit darkly at that bit of entertainment she had given. "Now, where to begin... Ahh, yes. The class I'm bringing you to shall be filled with little human children, so-"

Flinching in shocking, the fairy interrupted me by asking, "W-what? But that'd be dangerous! What'd happen if I... if I lost control, and ate one...? My mamas said it's really easy..."

Ahh, so that's it... _That's _why she's still an innocent little fairy, even if she's of Autumn. While the others were either true pixies, who made their teeth and fingers to be sharp for the reason of hunting humans, and the rest were your average pixies, who had simply lived long enough that they had had enough time to become curious, and eventually obviously gave in, this one was only a youngling. Little difference between them, really, but still. With that in mind, I asked in a sweet voice, "So, you never have been around humans, have you?"

Shaking her head, the fairy replied, "No... I've heard that they're delicious from one of my other mama's, but... it just sounds wrong to eat other living beings, especially when they die when they're killed... Atleast _we _can usually come back..."

As we walked along, I began to giggle a bit. Achi, you picked perfectly... Heh... After thinking a bit, I said without any lack of certainty, "But you have no interest in that."

Nodding, the fairy once more replied. "That's right... I just want to play, and be happy, like all fae should... I'm... actually glad to get away from all those bad influence... Half of them are always saying that I really _should _just give in, while the other half simply defend me a bit... I love all my mama's, but... well, they just aren't very good people... Even my siblings have tried it! It's annoying to watch them all turn, the one time a human was caught..."

With a smile, I patted the young fairy on the back so as to reassure her. "It's alright, young one. In the end, you are the only one in the right. Even I would be one you should watch out for. After all, I _am _a pixie. These eyes do not lie."

After that, we walked the rest of the way in silence, as she gave a nod of agreement with the sentiment.


	20. Fae 101: Pre-class Discussion

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Now to start work on the sub-plan~ Although, it's not due untill next chapter or so. Depends on how long it takes to complete the elemental fae.

Y/N: Indeed! I wonder if they'll even be able to be completed in a single chapter... I mean, it's quite large after all.

A/N: Yeah... It's more wishful thinking than anything. Now, let's see just what I _can_ complete, hmm? Will we even reach the lesson today? Let's find out!

Y/N: Yeah!

A/N: ...

Y/N: ...Yes?

A/N: Aren't you going to...?

Y/N: To what?

A/N: ...I just had assumed that you'd want another drink...

Y/N: Have you learned nothing from Margatroid? Never assume.

A/N: Right! Sorry abou- Gya!

Y/N: Mmm~

* * *

Early Night, Keine's Classroom, Keine's PoV:

As I graded papers at my desk, the pair of fae sat their small rears on the edge of a pair of desks that would soon be in use by the children. As they sat in wait, they dangled their legs off the edge of the desk and idly kicked at the air. As we all waited, Achi whistled a little tune, her mouth letting off a bit of steam as she went. I would ask why that is, but that would likely be addressed soon enough.

Eventually the expected spring fae made her way in through the open door. With a wide grin on her lips, and a pink parasol twirling upon her shoulder, Daiyousei said, "Hello, you three. Hrm... It has been some time since I last saw a summer fae, and autumn fae are even more rare, even if they are never truely far away. But one who gets along with others, and doesn't try to suck one dry? Rare, indeed~"

I waved from my desk, and smiled towards the ancient fairy. "Well, I had help in aquiring the summer and then autumn fae. Apparently I had... earned a favor with the palace of earth spirits, and so they sent a summer fae. After that, the summer fae searched out an autumn fae, and they've been spending the last day in wait for when I would need their help. Right, Achi? ...Achi?"

Before I knew it, the summer fae in question had dropped down from the desk, and began to bow low, saying, "Greatings daiyousei Yuuka. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person."

With a chuckle, Daiyousei lifted the pixie's chin, along with the rest of her lowered upper-body with but a single finger. "You may rise, Achi. I am not one for formality, so long as I am shown proper respect. And no, that doesn't mean that I wish for you to postulate before me. I do like to be treated normally."

I raised a confused eyebrow at the happening, and asked, "But... I thought Yuuka lived in the Garden of the Sun? I was under the impression that your name was Daiyousei..."

Turning to me with a grin, Yuuka answered, "I and her are one in the same, you know. Do remember the meaning of my name, Keine. I am the daiyousei of these lands, and I have merely chosen to be reffered to by two seperate names for simplicitys sake. I actually have two bodies, you see. One is before you, while the other is back home, tending the fields. " ...Great, I brought in a sadist by mistake...

As she and I were clearing things up, another three fae made their way in. Oddly, Achi grinned widely as she turned to her, and Cirno sneerd at the sight before her. At the bit of animocity, I asked, "Is everything alright, you two...?" I had never seen Cirno quite so... _angry_, for lack of a better word.

From beside the ice fairy in question, a rather familiar fae in a witches garb asked, "Yeah, what's buggin' ya, ze? Usually you're calm, cool, and collected! ...Ignore the pun, da ze." ...Wait, why does she sound so familiar?

To the other side of her, the other ice fairy asked, "Are you okay, Cirno...? You don't look so good... Is something bothering you...?"

From across from her, and with a grin, Achi asked, "So it's _Cirno _these days, hmm? What an interesting new name. So close, and yet so far from your actual name." As she laughed a bit, Cirno simply glared at her. "...But, I am not here to battle you, verbally or otherwise. My army lost. I am not about to dispute that, as what happened happened. The only reason we meet on this day is because we are both apt candidates of our season, not because I intentionally set up a meeting between us. You killed our goddess after all. What chance would this ex-Herald of Summer hope to stand?"

Feeling quite out of the loop, I asked, "Erm... What's going on...? Cirno, did you really... kill a goddess?" At the question, the six heads of the fae all turned to me, some in just as much confusion as I.

Nodding, Cirno replied, "I did, but that was over a hundred years ago. I was a different person back then... Now all I wish for is peace, although I can't be sure if I will get it, if Achi is still around... The great fairy war was our armies going head to head, after all. Ohh, and I brought Usa and Marisa as added comparisons. They're a human turned fae, and a youkai who's in the form of a fae. I figured you wouldn't mind."

I couldn't help but blink in surprise, before asking the most obvious of questions. "...Marisa?"

Scratching the back of her head, the once human jokingly shouted, "Surprise!" After a short bout of nervous laughter, Marisa added, "Hey, can you not tell my pops about this just yet? I don't want to hear of his reaction for a few years, da ze."

With a sigh, I gave a nod that I would do as such. Just as my agreement was given, the children started to arive.


	21. Fae 101: Winter Fae

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: ...Yamame, why haven't I gotten better yet?

Y/N: What do you mean?

A/N: Well, I've been almost better for, like, five days now! Shouldn't you be able to drain it all in one go?

Y/N: W-well, erm...

A/N: ...You're keeping me sick so you can have a tasty treat, aren't you?

Y/N: Ahahaaa...

A/N: Well?

Y/N: M-maybe...

A/N: Why not give me something less annoying to me, in that case...? Everything tastes funny, I'm coughing lumps of grossness up, and I feel so tired!

Y/N: Sorry, but... I can't think of anything that's particularly easy on you!

A/N: Ugh... Fine, let's just get on with the show...

Y/N: ...Sorry... It's just... so hard to get a good meal...

A/N: Yes, yes, it's fine...

* * *

Night, Keine's Classroom, Cirno's PoV:

I let out a sigh, and couldn't help but let my frown turn up-side down as the children began to gather around me. All around me, the children were making sounds of happiness, and greeting me, although they stayed a metre radius away from me, there about, due to the aura of cold my kind let off.

When Keine let out a whistle, the children all stopped simultaneously and looked to the source, as if they were trained dogs. With their attention gained, Keine stated, "It's time that we start class. Today we have much to cover, so I will have to have you all hold your joy untill after class. Cirno shall still be here by the end." She couldn't help but let an amused smile creep onto her lips as she spoke. Can hardly blame her for that, though.

Glad I'm not the only one that finds this funny... After giggling a bit at the sudden movement the children all made, I asked, "Want me to start, Teach? I can probably cover a good bit of what's needed, while Dai'd probably know pretty much the rest."

At hearing that Dayousei was fine with my giving her a nickname, Achi gave me a bit of a jealous look, which caused me to grin at her, even if I had no idea why she was looking at me like that. While we were having a silent staring contest of sorts, Keine answered, "Yes, that would be fine. Class, give your attention to Cirno. She shall be the first guest speaker on the subject of fae."

With all eyes on me, I made my way to the front of the class. "Let's see... Where to start... Ahh, well, I suppose I'll start with a Q&A! Any questions?"

At the first hand meeting the air, I aimed a finger at them, and they asked their question. "Why aren't your wings connected to your back...?"

Heh, that question? Typical... "Well, that's because I decided to make my body that way, and it's a rather popular way to look, as an ice fae. It's also the most useful, what with how I can do things like... _this_." As I said that, I brought one of my wings to my hand, and it became a rather large sword, which i wielded with ease. Before me, the various children oo'd, and ahh'd, while Achi backed off, taking a bit of a defensive stance. I simply ignored the reaction from my old foe, and allowed the blade to return to being a wing. "Like all fae, this body you see before you is simply what I use to interact with the world around me. Without it, I'd be invisible to you all. You could call it a puppet of sorts, really."

Looking around, I eventually settled my eyes on a young girl with a raised hand, and pointed to her. She seemed a bit nervous, and had a light blush on her cheeks, so I was ready for a more personal question than before. "Erm... Cirno, I heard that you fairies are all girls... Is that true...?"

I couldn't help but raise a brow at the odd question. "Who the heck's been spreading rumors like that...? N-" As I was about to answer, she pointed to a boy in the back row. I couldn't help but focus my eyes on the liar, and narrow them a bit. Whether they were simply ignorant or not was unimportant. What was was to rectify this. "As I was saying, no, there are the rare boy fae... However, that's a bit of a thing of opinion. Technically? Fae are neither he's nor she's. We simply typically take on a feminine form, as it looks nicer. In actuallity, we're its. Shapeless, genderless blobs of elemental powder called fairy dust. You can't see it with your eyes, but from where we six stand, we see a world of stars. We can see the dust of any fae that's not being intentionally blocked. Every last one... To us, when we fly among the clouds, the land is a rainbow sea of blues, greens, oranges, and reds. The shade means little, but the intencity shows the power of a fae, and the color shows the element." Thinking a moment, I added, "And it's fae; there's actually only two fairies in the room."

Noticing a boy that seemed particularly impatient, and was waving his hand erratically, so I let out a sigh and pointed to him. Jumping at being pointed to, he asked, "What do you mean...? I thought you were all fairies!"

I chuckled at the further ignorance to the truth, and answered, "Well, fairies are the pure, and nicer fae. Pixies, on the other hand, are usually pretty mean. Usa, Dai, Achi, and I, are all pixies. The other two are the only fairies in here. The _typical _sign of a pixie is that the white of the eyes is black, and that the colored bit is brightly burning red. Yes, yes, put your hands down. I know that none of us look like that. I'm sure that Achi and Dai have their own ways, but Usa and I use little caps that go over the eye, made of the right colors of ice. Pretty tough to make, though... It hides a pixie from non-fae pretty well, but it's worthless against the eyes of a fae. To fae, we simply look off."

With that said, I motioned to Marisa, and she came forward with an annoyed sigh. "Yeah, Master?"

I grinned, and looked to the class, saying, "This is a human turned fae. No true difference between her and I, save for what effort has earned me."

With that said, I motioned for Usa to come forward as well. Of course, being the obedient girl that she was, she came forward with no trouble at all, and didn't seem bothered in the least. "Yes, Master...?"

Motioning to Usa, I added, "And this is a youkai that is mimicking a fae. A mimic, to be exact... She's surprisingly similar, but there's one thing missing. She doesn't have the eye for seeing a dust core, nor does she seem to have one on first inspection. However, when killed, she still respawns... It's strange, really... Shouldn't work that way, too." After a moment, I got an interesting little idea, and dragged Usa along towards one of the various doors that didn't lead outside. If memory serves, this was a bathroom. "We'll be back in a minute to finish our bit. Need to make a sample."

With that I entered into the bathroom, shut the door behind us, and grinned at Usa. "Usa, I have a fun little plan... I'm going to show them one of your orbs~"

At the mention, she blushed heavily, and asked, "I-is that... really necessary...?"

Nodding, I replied, "Yes. ...Well, _I _think it is, anyways. Don't act like you don't love it, Usa... I watch you quite closely when we rub wings, you know... It's the only time I can see your core, after all!" As I said this, I trailed a finger over the edge of one of her ring-blade wings, earning me a quiet gasp from her. "Now, gimme an orb..." At the touch, she began to tremble, and her wing shivered along with her.

With a grin on my face, I continued to stroke the bladed wing gently, trailing my finger across the full hoop. By the time I had gone around three full times, my little apprentice was leaning against me, and trying very hard to not to purr loudly. With a sadistic grin, I sped up my actions just as she was growing used to my touch, pushing her to the limits of her control. This earned me a bit of a purr, and was exactly what I wanted. I couldn't help but giggle at how easy it is to make her make one.

I watched with satisfaction as the honey began to collect at the bottom of the blade, hanging off it like a juicy apple. Soon after it had been produced, it began to quickly harden, and so I plucked it from her before it could fall on its own. "This'll do nicely... C'mon, Usa, let's head back out and do a little show and tell!"

As we came out, everyone was looking at us strangely, probably wondering just what we were doing doing in there. Upon seeing what I had in my grasp, most of the fae blushed a bit, knowing exactly what it was, and how I had obtained it. When I had made my way back to the front of the class, holding Usa's hand all the while, I held up the orb and proclaimed, "And this is an orb! Fancy name, I know, but it's a really important bit to making more fae! We make 'em by rubbing our wings together, and it takes quite a few to make a new fairy! If one doesn't want to make more fae, one simply eats it. Now, get a good look at this, because you humans'll probably never see one again!"

With that done, I offered it to Usa, and she began to wolf it down pretty quickly. Good girl, Usa. Doubt anything'd come of such a small amount of dust, but still, I doubt she's ready to be a parent. Plus, this is the last example, which means... "Well, that about wraps up my part of the lesson. I'll let whoever's next take the stage now." With that said, I led my apprentice off to the group of fae, who seemed a little discomforted by the sweet smell that was coming from Usa.


	22. Fae 101: Spring Fae

Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: Been a little while since last I updated... well, anything other than my newest story! Anywho, I figured I'd finally finish making my fae look terrifying!

Y/N: Indeed?

A/N: That's right, Yuuka. After all, there are few things scarier than a greater fae.

Y/N: Perhaps, but only if you find yourself afraid of what if's. After all, only a pixie would do such a thing.

A/N: But...

Y/N: One who actively acts like a pixie. Many fae accidentally become pixies, you see.

A/N: Such as yourself?

Y/N: You do realize what I do to those who dare harm my precious flowers needlessly, correct?

A/N: So you're a...

Y/N: I'm a _defensive _pixie.

A/N: I see...

Y/N: If my beauties go unmolested, I won't bother those who enter my fields. However, to start plucking their cute little petals is unacceptable. To pull them from the ground like weeds is pure suicide, and doubly so if done near me. To tear them appart? Ohh, I would make them one of my own just to kill them again...

A/N: ...Eep... Er... Aha... W-well, let's get on with the show!

Y/N: ...You didn't harm one, did you? You seem nervous...

A/N: N-no! Never would dream of it!

* * *

Late night, Keine's classroom, Keine's PoV:

Clearing my throat, now that attention was back on me, I said, "Well, that wraps things up for winter, now-"

Interrupting me, Yuuka replied, "Actually, going by the name of this class, I believe there is still a fair bit to go. Such as the habitat and the like." Noticing Cirno moving back towards the center of the room, the sadist grinned and grabbed her by the back of the collar, earning her a surprised choking cough from the six-winged fae as she clutched at her throat, and was jerked back into her place against the wall. "Now, now, Cirno. It's no longer your turn. Now, it is my turn, and I plan to make full use of it." Chuckling, the sadistic fae stepped forward in Cirno's place, while I looked on in concern.

Yuuka's PoV:

I stepped in front of the teacher's desk, and leaned my back against it, my body only being a little bit taller than it is when I'm this size. Comfortable with my position, I began to add to Cirno's little lesson. "Now, you surely know that fae like locations like their bodies, correct? Ice fae are no different. They stick to frozen tundra, or other similar places, meaning that their homes would be in the mountains of the world, as well as Antarctica, Russia, Canada, and other such locations. Being that Fae like to immitate you humans, as shown by this form we sculpt our bodies into, the ice fae went one step further and even took on archetecture. The odd thing, however, is that no matter where they are from, they would always build igloos. Why is that, Cirno?"

With all eyes on her, the fae who was still rubbing her pained throat asked in a slightly hoarse voice, "What, you're asking now? After you so quickly said you would take over, you admit that you know not enough to actually do as you said you would...?"

From behind the desk I was propped up against, the teacher asked in a worried tone, "Now, Cirno... Now isn't the time to hold a grudge. Would you please just do as she is requesting...?"

Sighing in still irritated defeat, Cirno replied, "Fine, fine, I'll tell... The answer is that we tended to move between those various locations back then. When we died, we would travel through areas that would normally be too warm for our two-wing's, and very uncomfortable for our four-wing's. As such, this spread around our collective knowledge, and that became our favorite for obvious reasons. Of course, I for one fancy castles made like igloos. Quite the sight, they are... They shine in the sun like you wouldn't believe, if you pollish them. Especially easy if you have a strong ice fae, or any fire fae around. The former can manipulate the ice in one go, while the latter can melt the outer layer, this giving it a unique look."

At that I tapped my lip a tad, and replied, "...Interesting. Thank you for your help, Cirno." Turning my attention back to the class, I added, "As for food, fae do like to eat elements that suit them. Think of the most delicious thing in the world, and a winter fae will enjoy ice even more than that. The same can be said for we spring fae and flowers. As for our homes, we really never have seen much point. We would simply find a nice patch of flowers, and simply enjoy any incliment weather that came our way. After all, all but the summer fae enjoy a bit of rain."

Ignoring the hands going up, I added, "Now, as for what we make our bodies out of, spring fae tend to use flowers and other flora. Heck, we can even use bark, and you wouldn't believe how comfy it tends to be... Hint: it's not as nice as flowers, but it's far softer than bark should ever be." With that said, I began to grin a bit. "...Now, I have a fun little demonstration to give. Ohh, don't look like that, teacher~ Nothing _too _bad..."

Laughing to myself, I plucked the souls from everyone in the room, as they were all within my dust cloud. "Now, I'm sure you're all confused by why the world around you has drastically changed. You no longer hear, but you still understand my words. You can no longer speak, but you understand eachother perfectly. You cannot see, yet you know what is before you, and beyond. And what is before you, is every single fae within this great land. You are able to see, hear, and speak as a bodiless fae can as of right now. That rainbow nebula of dust before you is the dust of every last fae in Gensoukyou. Ohh, stop your complaining, Keine. You shall all be fine soon enough... What I've done?" I began to grin from ear to ear at the question I understood from her slightly corrupted soul. "I've merely plucked your souls from you all. Although, the one in the glasses seems immune for some reason. Odd child. But I digress, you all get to experience life as a fae for the next few minutes. I'll be sure to keep them from actually _becoming _fae, so don't you even think about helping them Cirno."

Grinning once more at the non-verbal question of one of the students, I answered, "Well, all fae are on a different plane of existence. We merely cross over into yours through these golems we create, and inhabit. Without them, you would never even know we were here, nor could we speak to you. It is hard enough for you to merely comprehend what you are seeing! If you could hear us, you just might go insane~ After all, there's a reason we never respawn near you humans. Simply put, your fragile minds can't handle the sounds we make as we resynchronize with our new body. Your ears bleed, and at the worst, your brains hemorage from trying to simply comprehend our sounds. Quite the nasty happening."

With that said, I began to guide souls back into the limp bodies of the humans, while specks simply sat there writing in his book. When finally the threads of the severed connections with their bodies were re-established, and the few mix-ups swapped, I went on to add, "And there is also a reason I came in this body, and not the one you are likely more familiar with. You see, spending too much time too close to a fae is very healthy in a way many wouldn't enjoy. You see, there is something we fae call the corruption. If a human stays too near a fae for too long, the corruption will start to, in a sense, destroy their soul. No, it is not necessarily a bad thing. You see, when it is destroyed, it is simultaniously replaced with fairy dust, turning one into one of us. Of course, this is a very slow proccess, but there is something I find quite intriguing about you lot... A great many of you have a slight corruption to you..." At their slight looks of fear at the prospect, I added with a melodic voice, "Just figured I'd warn you~" From my guess, they probably stayed around Cirno for some time.

Growing more serious, if only slightly, I once more went on to say, "One more thing must be said. While the fairies you all are used to seeing are... _reletively _harmless, pixies aren't. They like to lead humans astray and eat them just like any youkai. Some pixies are fine, as we are only technically pixies, but the ones with the scary eyes must be treated with caution. Now, I believe there are actually stories of fae leading children astray, and having them join their circle... Such things are true, but only in a sense. We never _intentionally_ do such a thing, as our numbers are typically like children. In fact, all we do is simply play with you children at times, and you get the wonderful idea to follow us home. We are never one to turn down a now lost child from staying with us, but... well, more fae think like children than adults. As such, they never attempt to reunite them with their parents, and instead we tend to simply play with them. Eventually their staying with us corrupts them, untill they become a fae. And so caution is best when dealing with... less intelligent fae."

Stunned a tad at the rather serious warning from me of all people, Keine replied, "...Thank you, Miss Kazami, for the warning. I'm... sure that will prevent a small number of lost children."

I giggled, as I found that to be amusing. "Just a _small _number? There are more humans than you think that become corrupted, Keine."

At that, the teacher simply nodded, earning her an abnormally small grin from myself. That went pretty well, me thinks~

Moments later a bell began to ring, likely sigifying that the class had come to an end.

Or perhaps Keine was cooking eggs. I honestly don't know.


End file.
